Papal Goodness

Ian IMed this to me.

Trizis' House

English project at Trizis’ house.

Hey, if Trizis’ dad was Islam, and we were comparing religions of our fathers, I would say…

…get ready for this…

…Trizis’s is Islamic!

…Say it out loud.

Peace.

State of the Union

Found this on the ibscrewed forum.

Confident and strong, indeed.

The 1985 Toyota Minivan that Could

Today I woke up at eleven, moped around the house for a while, and then saw the strangest thing I have ever laid eyes upon:

I live on a semi-busy road in the heart of Clearwater, cars pass all day. Suddenly a truck (rented – I could make out the Home Depot decals on the side) pulling a trailer with a beige 1985 Toyota Minivan stops in the middle of the road and out pops a woman in her 40s(?) from the passenger seat. Like any sensible person, I assumed they were having car trouble. Oh how wrong I was.

Suddenly this lady pulls down her pants and commences urination – in broad daylight and in plain view of my virgin eyes. After she’s done and the puddle of humanly fluid was quite sizable, she zipped up, got back into the truck, and continued on her way.

Thus ended the oddest sight in the history of my meaningless existence.

Poker Game

At Jaimesuarez’s house playing poker with James, Gregorio, Sharf, Mannen, and Zach the lovable Jew.

I’m out five bucks.

Oh well, if the Seahawks didn’t teach me not to gamble, this should.
Later.

P.S. Doug says hi.

P.S.S. UPDATE 8:40PM EST: We’ve broken out the karaoke machine. Expect neighborly complaints.

Deep Fried Overdose

I went to the new Long John Silver’s tonight with my brother, Ian, and his girlfriend, Nikki, for the first time and after my brother ordered his fish sandwich, Nikki and I decided that we were hungry so we would split a family meal: 5 chicken planks, 4 pieces of fish, 2 orders of fries, 6 fried shrimp, and an order of hushpuppies. After paying for our flipping $28.00 worth of food we proceeded to wait at our table until it was done. During this time, we put on cardboard pirate hats and I got me a bib – This was gonna be some hardcore eating. And how right I was.

Round one.
I ate a plank of chicken. Nikki ate a plank of fish.

Round two.
I ate another plank of chicken. Nikki was still working on her first piece of fish.

Round three.
I ate another plank of chicken. Nikki’s still busy with that first plank of succulent cod.

Round four.
Chicken piece #4. Fish piece #1. You get the picture.

Round five.
(I’ll condense the rest of this story, it all pretty much goes the same.)
I ate the last piece of chicken and two pieces of fish. Nikki ate 1 (one) piece of fish.

The moral of this story? Girls don’t hold up their end of the bargain. Ever.

Nook-u-lur… Nook-le-ar… Nook-u-lur… Nook-le-ar…

Italian Il Giornale: Al Qaeda Threatens to Nuke New York on February 2… but don’t change any of your plans.

This message brought to you by an incessantly blathering group of fools that you apparently voted for.

"We want the ball, and we're going to score."

Week one of NFL playoff action completed. Let’s go over my picks (Winner – My pick):

Titans (20) @ Ravens (17)
Cowboys (10) @ Panthers (29)
Seahawks (27) @ Packers (33)
Broncos (10) @ Colts (41)

I totally expected those gosh darn Seahawks to win, I even picked them in my Super Bowl pool. It was going to be beautiful: The most unlikely team would win it all, and I would say, “I told you so!” to all the people I bet against as I took their money. But now I just look stupid.

That’ll teach me to gamble.

With those stupid Seahawks.

Bananas in Pajamas

Advice for all the men out there: Never compare a woman to a banana. While it may seem like a good idea at the time, odds are she won’t take it the way you intend.

In fact, you should avoid comparing them to any fruits. Trust me.

Happy New Year.