The One Where I Declare (Delicious) War Upon Steak 'n Shake

As my arteries and wallet will tell you, I have an uncanny knack of finding the most delicious food values.

During that brief time when McDonalds’ one dollar sandwich was a bona-fide double cheeseburger instead of the flimsy McDouble, I was there. When Wendy’s introduced its delectable double stack for 99 cents, I was there. And yes, when Burger King countered with its one dollar quarter pound double cheeseburger, I was there.

I fought beside brave trans fats at the battle of five dollar all-you-can-eat pancakes on the banks of the mighty IHOP; I flew with fearless endless chicken wings over the perilous Ale House ravine; and I landed with the super value squadron on the shores of the Taco Bell atoll.

However, all of my service in the delicious food corps has led me to a higher consciousness of edible values. And this, friends, is why I have one hell of a tasty bone to pick with Steak ‘n Shake.

Recently, these folks have advertised four meals under four bucks (though with tax and a Coke, you’re looking at increased minimums). Of these four meals, three consist of burgers and fries. The burger options include a single steak burger with cheese and bacon, a double steak burger with cheese, and a triple steak burger sans cheese or bacon.

So, if my well-trained palate and checkbook serve me correctly, these Steak ‘n Shake crooks would have me believe that a slice of cheese is equal to the cost of a couple slices of bacon, which is also equal to the cost of a patty of beef.

Now, I realize that employing transitivity in the delicate field of value pricing is a risky venture. This said, I cannot in good conscience allow this travesty of the taste bud to go unnoticed.

However, when it’s 2:00 a.m. and I’m in dire need of a steak accompanied by a shake of some variety, I’m afraid I’m pretty well painted into a corner. You may have won the battle, Steak ‘n Shake, but trust me: you won’t win the war.

A random thought concerning American cinema and promotional tactics

I was reading the other day on Wikipedia about the crappy box office reception of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory back in 1971. Curious, I checked out the trailer that was unleashed on an Oompa-Loompaless public in the Nixon era and found this.

Oh, dear. Apart from having the decade-old phenomenon BonziBUDDY read the dry voice over script, I can see no worse way of advertising this movie. It’s like having a combination of Ben Stein and all of my old college professors advertise a film that that they in no way can relate to.

Maybe this is just the way movies were promoted then. Man, if that’s the case I am sure glad to live in the new millennium.

Instead of writing in this blog, I am now focusing my efforts on sending curmudgeoney old man letters to the newspaper

…but it needed to be said.

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s… Super Tebow!

So, I’m only posting these photos here because my mom told me to. I hope the two twentysomething trick-or-treaters we got enjoyed this as much as I’m sure they enjoyed their full-size candy bars. It baffles me that word hasn’t gotten ’round the neighborhood yet that every year we have the best candy on the block, not to mention awesome pumpkins. Stupid, stupid children.

More for me.

Also, please excuse the blurry and generally terrible quality of my cell phone’s camera:

There’s never a dull moment in the parking lot behind the Holiday Inn in Gainesville

I go where the "in" crowd goes, then I go home and blog about it.

Oh, indie girls. How I long for your tender embrace. I don’t know what it is, but I have been increasingly attracted to quirky girls who like trendy music and don’t agree with me politically.

Last night, for example, Ian and I went to eat at The Top in Gainesville. It’s the kind of place that, when ordering, the server is sure to let you know that their food is all natural and animal friendly. I personally don’t understand how you can be friendly with an animal if you’re eating it, but God knows that hasn’t stopped me yet.

Anyway, throughout the restaurant are multitudes of super skinny chicks with super short hair, super tacky clothes, and a super ability to make me angry that I’m not clued into the “in” crowd like they are.

Maybe it’s because the hipster chic runs rampant throughout Gainesville and I’ve come to accept the fact that during a zombie apocalypse, one such lady might see it necessary to procreate with me. Maybe it’s because I’m a political science major and these types are always to my right and left (mostly my left). Hell, maybe it’s because I’m secretly a hardcore vegan who wants to wear chucks and ride my bike everywhere for the sake of the environment.

But don’t count on that last one, I like meat and air conditioning too much.

Now maybe I will have incentive to update more than once a fortnight!

It’s been a while since I arbitrarily updated the look of this blog. I finished with midterms today, so I figured I deserved a little treat.

Recently, I have wanted to embrace the minimalism of blogging. At some point, blogrolls, RSS links, Tweets, and ever-expanding archives can take their toll on a mind already overloaded with information and stimuli. So, now I have none of these things. It is somewhat liberating.

Anyhow, thanks goes to jamesyps and the Blue Basic WordPress theme from which this design was derived. I guarantee you that the coding behind this Web site will not pass ANY sort of validation, but come on – in this day and age we have browsers to make up for our shortcomings. Also, the nifty icons at the top of this page come from Komodo Media. I have neither the time nor the ability to make anything look that sleek in 256 (16×16) pixels.

I’m sure lots of things still need to be fiddled with, but I am happy enough with what we have to call it a night.

(And to think – lots of my journalism major friends get to do this all the time for class! But they have to use Macs. Poor souls.)

I'm going to turn in my research paper with white text on a light background image. How does that make YOU feel?

So, my Developing Nations professor plays guitar in a band. Weird.
(Shattered Symphony via Myspace Music)

Third Time’s The Charm

I’m beginning to think I have a fundamental sitting problem.

This pretty much sums up my thoughts on growing up

Hat tip to the Gainesville Sun.