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The One Where I Declare (Delicious) War Upon Steak 'n Shake
As my arteries and wallet will tell you, I have an uncanny knack of finding the most delicious food values.
During that brief time when McDonalds’ one dollar sandwich was a bona-fide double cheeseburger instead of the flimsy McDouble, I was there. When Wendy’s introduced its delectable double stack for 99 cents, I was there. And yes, when Burger King countered with its one dollar quarter pound double cheeseburger, I was there.
I fought beside brave trans fats at the battle of five dollar all-you-can-eat pancakes on the banks of the mighty IHOP; I flew with fearless endless chicken wings over the perilous Ale House ravine; and I landed with the super value squadron on the shores of the Taco Bell atoll.
However, all of my service in the delicious food corps has led me to a higher consciousness of edible values. And this, friends, is why I have one hell of a tasty bone to pick with Steak ‘n Shake.
Recently, these folks have advertised four meals under four bucks (though with tax and a Coke, you’re looking at increased minimums). Of these four meals, three consist of burgers and fries. The burger options include a single steak burger with cheese and bacon, a double steak burger with cheese, and a triple steak burger sans cheese or bacon.
So, if my well-trained palate and checkbook serve me correctly, these Steak ‘n Shake crooks would have me believe that a slice of cheese is equal to the cost of a couple slices of bacon, which is also equal to the cost of a patty of beef.
Now, I realize that employing transitivity in the delicate field of value pricing is a risky venture. This said, I cannot in good conscience allow this travesty of the taste bud to go unnoticed.
However, when it’s 2:00 a.m. and I’m in dire need of a steak accompanied by a shake of some variety, I’m afraid I’m pretty well painted into a corner. You may have won the battle, Steak ‘n Shake, but trust me: you won’t win the war.
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