Bull Gator

I just accepted an offer to pursue my Master’s at USF St. Petersburg in journalism?

No, the question mark was not a typo.

After four years of learning the ins and outs of politics and not caring much one way or the other about the topic except to point out the faults of everyone involved, I’m going in an entirely different – and equally low paying – direction.

While the prospect of living at home with Mom’s free cooking is appealing, I am going to miss Gainesville. It’s not that I did any particularly noteworthy stuff while I was here (except for the time we convinced Angus to bathe in beer), but I’m a creature of habit who shies away from any uncertainty. And even though I couldn’t point it out to you on a weather map, Alachua County is my home.

Also, I’m not really sure why they accepted me. I Facebook stalked some of my classmates-to-be (with full knowledge that if they read this when I’m in school with them that they will be sufficiently creeped out), and these people have experience. I’m not talking about managing some scholastic press association, either. They interview, they write, they code, they edit, they fly through the air with the greatest of journalistic ease. They have experience.

Whatever, though. Experience or no, here I come. And I will work my ass off.

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s… Super Tebow!

So, I’m only posting these photos here because my mom told me to. I hope the two twentysomething trick-or-treaters we got enjoyed this as much as I’m sure they enjoyed their full-size candy bars. It baffles me that word hasn’t gotten ’round the neighborhood yet that every year we have the best candy on the block, not to mention awesome pumpkins. Stupid, stupid children.

More for me.

Also, please excuse the blurry and generally terrible quality of my cell phone’s camera:

This pretty much sums up my thoughts on growing up

Hat tip to the Gainesville Sun.

The newest addition to the Swamp

New Year, Old Tricks

Well, the Gators lost. This means that the only Florida-based team to win its bowl game this year is Florida Atlantic University. Owl Pride!

Oh well, here’s to a national championship next year.

History of the World According to Tim Tebow, Part One

In light of the recent Heisman Hoopla surrounding Alachua County’s Prince Charming (and my best friend!) Tim Tebow, I figured it was about time to release this photographic evidence that Timmy is immortal. So without further ado, I present to you History of the World According to Tim Tebow, Part One:

Philadelphia, 1787 – After hours of grueling debating and arguing, Tim Tebow presides over the signing of the newfound American Constitution. John Hancock tries to be an attention whore and is stiff armed into oblivion. When leaving, Tebow mentions that they should really add something about the right to bear arms, because his biceps are a thousand times more powerful than any musket of the era.

Kitty Hawk, 1903 – On a blustery day that winter, Tim Tebow creates a new flying machine, but humbly allows two sibling bicycle repairmen to take credit for his invention, fearing that the government might force him to use his machine for evil. A century later, Tebow will find out how to take to the air in a different way.

Iwo Jima, 1945 – High atop Mount Suribachi, Tim Tebow and six other soldiers raise the American Flag in a moment captured for American antiquity. It is after this war, however, that Tebow decides to abstain from further combat, for fear of breaking the hearts of girls around the world. The United States would regret issuing his leave in later conflicts. Whoops.

Times Square, 1945 – After beating the Japanese with two bombs comprised of Tim Tebow’s concentrated semen, blood, and elbow grease, Tebow returns to America and is photographed kissing this girl. She would later find out that she is pregnant, as did every other female within a fifteen foot radius of Tebow when this photo was taken.

Cuba, 1958 – Forever a proponent of freedom, Tim Tebow leads a revolution against Dictator Fulgencio Batista. In order to cause Batista to flee the country, Tebow does a pile driver into his sternum and rushes for seven touchdowns while penetrating the entire Cuban cheerleading squad.

London, 1969 – Tim Tebow, in England to plant his seed to field a potential rugby team, is asked by the three remaining Beatles to fill in for the recently deceased Paul McCartney. Reluctant at first, Tebow accepted when he found out that if he posed as Paul McCartney for the rest of time, he could marry and bone a model half his age. Not to say he couldn’t bone her anyway, of course.

Tiananmen Square, 1989 – In an everyday show of bravery, Tim Tebow stands up to a line of military tanks. He had actually just stepped out from a burning apartment building filled with Chinese babies and their attractively vulnerable mothers and was on his way to not take a nap because Tim Tebow never sleeps. Upon seeing the Seminole-esque red stars on the side of the tanks in the square, Tebow briefly stood in front of them before melting the war machines with his gaze of hatred.

But no, really. Congratulations, Timmy!

I love you.

…Too much?

Oh, so there it is.

Why I hate the USF Bulls

I’m sick of all of my friends who couldn’t get into UF feeding me their incessant crap week after week. They are not the best team in Florida, and I truly believe they would lose to UF if they got the chance to play them.

Also, an outrageous number of folks from the area are adamant about the fact that Matt Grothe is better (>) than Tim Tebow. Granted, he’s an excellent player with great skills, but at this point I maintain that Grothe has not yet reached Tebow’s skill. In time, I’m sure this could change, but not at present. His mohawk also looks absolutely ridiculous.

I also think that they are over-ranked. Granted, they should be ranked high (within the top 10 or 15), but not number two. They are not the second best team in the country and I firmly believe that they would lose to a number of opponents: LSU, Oklahoma, and Ohio come to mind.

The extreme bandwagondom of all the Tampa Bay area is getting to me, too. Around the Tampa Bay area, you see more and more people who have never followed college football joining the Bulls’ crusade. And don’t get me wrong: this is GREAT for the Bulls and I hope it happens to the Rays when we start winning. I will be overjoyed, but still judge those who have not gotten onto the fanboat prior to its departure from Losersville.

Take my dad, for example. He’s a middle class, hard-working guy who has had devotion to UF since he sent his first child there. But now, all of a sudden, he’s jumped over to the USF bandwagon and persists that they are the best thing since sliced bread.

The outrageous media attention given to USF’s football team is ridiculous, too. Of course, this comes as no surprise – it’s always a great story to portray the “cinderalla story” year after year. We saw it with Rutgers/Boise State/Louisville last year and we will see it again for the rest of our lives, year after year. But what gets me is the fact that following broadcast after broadcast, week after week, the media still portrays them as the strapping young group of men from Tampa who are overcoming adversity and rising against the odds. Can’t we just accept that they are a good team this year who is undefeated and give up on the pity party that began from a trailer in a field – GASP – even years ago?

It’s mainly just jealousy, I’ll admit that. But my points are valid in this case. I have every right to cheer against the Bulls, just like ‘Noles are hellbent against the Gators and the Gators loathe Tennessee. Of course, it goes without saying that I respect their football team much more than Florida State and the Vols, given that they are a much more solid team this year.

Yes, you heard right: I respect the USF Bulls. Their team is quite good. George Selvie is one of the best in the game today, and the defense behind him is rock solid. USF’s offense is also solid, but without the receivers and running backs (Tebow included, heh) that a team like the Gators have, I can’t jump up in absolute agreement with their #2 ranking. Turnovers have been commonplace in USF’s games, and until last week against UCF the Bulls have not been able to consistently convert those opportune turnovers into points. Further, USF has turned the ball over many a time – a team so high in the rankings should not do this with such frequency.

And, uh, after watching the Auburn game earlier in the year, I would work on the kicking situation.

Women's soccer is really, really interesting. Really.

My German Political Theory Professor: Yes, well, as we all know, the US Women’s World Cup soccer team lost last night, unfortunately. It is a shame, too, because I was really hoping for a US versus Germany final. By the way, Germany, of course, won.

Class: Boo!

MGPTP: Yeah, well, come on. You guys won the war.

Year One in Review

Yesterday, my first year of college ended unceremoniously when I handed in my last exam for my comparative politics class.

I don’t feel any different. I certainly don’t feel any smarter. I guess that when you’ve been doing the school thing year in and year out for the better portion of your life, the affects of knowledge and wisdom are lost in a flood of monotony and repetition.

Either way, though, I am looking forward to going home, eating mom’s spaghetti, and going to so many Devil Rays games it’s ridiculous.