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I’m scared to buy any more in vain
Well, I made it. I’m no longer a teenager. It’s nice and all, but let me tell you a little story.
In my junior year of high school, for some reason my good Asian friend Ying Lo brought me a paper bag with two condoms in it from some free condom venture or something. I (naturally) took one out of its wrapper to check out what they were like, seeing that I was such a social failure and all, and I put the other in my wallet.
Well, condom number two expires in December. So, uh, I’d best get cracking on that, eh?
So, if you have a vagina and I have any contact with you, I would suggest being extra vaginally vigilant when you’re around me for the next month; I’m going to be coming onto you like a fat chick at a wedding reception.
comments (3)There are 3 comments. Such a lively discussion!

The Surfer by Tony Kamel
such a charmer…
I AM that fat chick at the wedding reception……and you didn’t come near me last week. Maybe it was because of all the holiday distractions….
I just realized how disturbing that thought was since I’m practically your aunt.
Dude…I think Terri is coming on to YOU…
HIGH FIVE!