Chinese Insanity

The actual fortunes from the fortune cookies included with the Chinese food my family ordered last night:

…sigh.

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My Father and Me: True Rockers

Today I’m riding with my family in the car on the way to the Adam’s Mark Hotel for the all you can eat prime rib buffet and someone pops in the REO Speedwagon Greatest Hits CD. My father, who is known for being aggressively anti anything that could reflect any effeminateness on his part, sits in the front seat.

So, naturally I comment to him that this isn’t the sort of thing we should listen to, and he quickly responds with, “Yeah, but I like that one song – you know – with the drums.”

“DADADADADADADADADAM!”

“What song is that, Dad?”

“I dunno – that one, you know – with the drums! DADADADADADADADADAM!”

After pressing “next track” on the CD player a few times, and with every song that begins inciting a defiant “Fag song” from my father, we finally get to it.

DADADADADADADADADAM!

And with that, my benevolent progenitor proceeded to serenade me with a fury of air guitar solos while at the same time attempting to play the fictitious drums that lie in his lap in our ’94 Maxima. All the while, succeeding in making a high-pitched yelp all to the tune of Roll with the Changes. It was the closest bonding moment we have ever had.

Yes, even while listening to “Fag music.”

REO Speedwagon Rocks.

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I have a big head

I was sitting at Christmas Dinner last night, and suddenly an argument arose.

Mom: Grandma, look at Casey’s hair!
Grandma (While feeling my head): Honey, he’s got nice hair.
Mom, Dad, & Brother: It’s too long!
Grandma: No, honey – Its length fits his head.

Awkward silence ensues…

Apparently I have a big head. Oh well – all the better to insult you with.

I don’t really want to cut my hair. It’s silly. Those Twelve Tribes people say that it’s against God’s will to cut my hair. Besides, all the lovely ladies prefer it long – Anything to please them.

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