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Bow Chicka Wah Wah!
Dear Axe Bodyspray,
Hello. My name is Casey Peterson and I have been using your product ever since 2002, when Axe was introduced to the U.S. During the entirety of this time, advertisements and descriptions on each container I purchased referring to the “Axe Effect” have led me to believe that at some juncture during this time, I would have sexual intercourse with a woman as a result of using your product. Unfortunately, this has not happened thus far. Therefore, I demand that you send a woman to my home in Gainesville immediately for the act of lovemaking. If you fail to comply, I’m afraid I will have to summon legal counsel and we will be forced to settle this matter in court.
Yours,
Casey A. Peterson

The Surfer by Tony Kamel