Every Freshman’s Worst Nightmare

April 30th, 2007 / #college, #funny stories

Today was a normal day. I got up at 10:30, watched Cold Pizza on ESPN, took my shower, and was beginning to loaf around when I got a text message from my good buddy James: “That was a hard test.” Naturally, I assumed he was talking about the morning version of the Macroeconomics final. I thought this to be rather unfortunate, because I knew I would have to take the nighttime version at 8:20 tonight. But then I thought to myself, “Gee, self: it’s 11:30. If James were to take the morning version of the final, he would have finished around 9:30. His text message is a bit late, unless…”

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

I quickly looked at the syllabus. There it was: the only version of the final offered today was scheduled to be administered at 10:00. I threw on a shirt, slapped on my flip-flops, and proceeded to find a previously unknown-to-me fifth gear in my little four cylinder Ford Focus as I raced across the city, on my way to beg someone to let me take a test for which I was sorely unprepared. I made it to school by speeding down 13th Street, going over the curb and the wrong way down a one-way street, and parking illegally in a faculty lot outside of Mallory Hall. Angus was walking to his room and greeted me. I just said “Hey!”

I took off my flip flops and ran as fast as a fat guy can run clear across the campus to where the test was being given. I couldn’t really communicate with the TAs in the room at the time – I was out of breath. They told me to go to Professor Dave Denslow’s office and wait. I did this, and as I walked into Matherly Hall, I noticed that I stunk. No, I reeked. No matter. If I didn’t get to take this exam, I fail the class. And I had only taken 12 credits this semester.

I skedaddled up the stairs to good old room 218, where I was pleasantly surprised to see more than one person in my position. I stated my case to the TA on duty, who then told me to wait. Fifteen minutes later, I was taking a rather difficult Macroeconomics final. I am going to be penalized 15 points for my inability to comprehend test times, but I guess that this story will serve as a warning to those inept fools like me who don’t care to read their syllabi.


There are 3 comments. Such a lively discussion!

  1. Dan spoke up on April 30, 2007.

    jesus christ that is a nightmare. hopefully some good can come of this, like your 15 point deduction going towards giving me the 10 point curve i need to make an A.

  2. Ian spoke up on April 30, 2007.

    Is it too early . . . ?

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA

  3. Lorie spoke up on May 8, 2007.

    The only thing I have to offer is I fell asleep during a final once. I was up all night studying and actually fell asleep at my desk during a final. Luckily my best friend was sitting next to me and kept coughing at random intervals trying to wake me up. I woke up with just enough time to finish the test, but I was definitely asleep, during a final exam. I’m pretty sure your story is way worse though. Glad nothing bad happened to you along the way!

Sorry, but comments are closed. Some things are best said in a vacuum.

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