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Chippy, Chippy
September 10th, 2005 / #girls, #observations
Having accepted my fate as a lonely little man for the rest of eternity, I decided last year to scope out chicks with whom I have no chance and watch them from afar. And don’t think that this was some sort of intricate system of hiding out in trash cans outside of girls’ houses and lowering myself into their bedrooms with rock climbing equipment – it’s just normal public girl watching, and the last time I checked, that’s pretty legal.
Anyhow, last year there was this girl at school who I only referred to as Chippy, half because I didn’t know her real name and half because she looked like a chipmunk. Of course, I’m no strange guy with a chipmunk fetish or anything; she was a genuinely hot human chipmunk girl. Anyhow, I digress. She was far less than 5 feet tall and walked around in her nose ring and hanging off of this intensely awkward looking boy who had a giant red bush atop his head, which was just scraping the 7 foot barrier. They were an interesting couple to watch, to say the least.
After a while, though, I realized that Chippy and I were just incompatible. I mean, if I ever brought a girl with a nose ring home to my dad, he’d have a cow. Heck, he’d have a whole herd. It just wouldn’t be pretty.
However, this year, I’ve noticed that Chippy no longer goes around with the Red-Headed Wonder. Maybe it’s because her legs were so much shorter than his that she couldn’t keep up and he’s long gone by now. Or maybe it’s because the mechanics of any sort of physical contact were largely inefficient and, therefore, she is in the market for someone more vertically challenged than Red. Or maybe it’s just because he went to college and left her behind. Either way, she’s roaming the campus unhitched.
Thus, my mind has begun to wander again. And while I am fully aware that she and I are most likely very incompatible, I can’t help but wonder what our babies would look like. And while I don’t ever plan on saying anything to her, I’m curious as to whether a conversation with her would be slightly interesting. And while I know that I really would rather not pursue any sort of relationship with her, I continually ask myself if her mother would like me.
Uh oh, I think this qualifies my life as the saddest existence ever known to man.
comments (7)There are 7 comments. Such a lively discussion!
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The Surfer by Tony Kamel
…let the pity comments begin…
i kno exactly who ur talking about
i refer to her as “oo short girlâ€
her name is Pam M. for the last time…
Dye your hair red.
oh my gosh….pam is the most adorable person ever! she is so sweet. my sister is friends with her.
I think Chippy is in my first period class. You should come in and visit her sometime, she sits all alone. Maybe she’s looking for someone to talk to…
casey… its been 9 days… please update =)
… this is what i choose to do instead of history homework, heh.