Hindsight is 20/20

Saw this on my newsfeed.

Man, I bet he wishes the Delorean hadn’t been hit by a train at the end of the third movie.

Dirty Laundry

You know, because I am in the Journalism school day in and day out despite my complete ignorance on the subject, I have come to grow fond of journalists. I am surrounded every day by notepad-wielding soldiers of the army of the written word. I guess more than anything, I respect them and their abilities of talking to complete strangers. Maybe if I could do that, I would be rolling in the ladies. Journalists are admirable, to be sure.

But I have also developed a pet peeve regarding the field. It used to be that when you would watch the news and something of great importance happened, they would cut away to an anchor who would tell us all about the “breaking news.”

Now, though, it seems that they have completely bastardized the phrase. Now, I can watch CNN for an hour in the morning and everything they’ve got for me is all of a sudden “breaking news.”

That group of elementary school children stacking cups for charity? “Breaking news.”
That lost dog from Florida that showed up in Canada a la Homeward Bound? “Breaking news.”
The Kansas City Royals suck? “Breaking news.” I think you get the point.

See, back when breaking news was rare and actually meant something, it was like a little treat during an otherwise bland and unexciting newscast. Now, however, they throw the term around like it’s a vowel, for God’s sake. Personally, I think that the term “breaking news” should have to meet three requirements:

First, someone’s gotta die. Yes, it is a sad reality, but when the news flips up “breaking news” about Sarah Palin adopting a polar bear or whatever it is she does, my heart flutters and then sinks. “Breaking news?” That’s hardly news!

Second, the newsworthy event has to be able to occur instantaneously or within a very short period of time. “Breaking news” that is merely an update on a developing story isn’t news. It’s a clarification of a prior news item and therefore terribly boring and lame.

Third, and perhaps most importantly, the event must not happen often. Listen, I don’t want a barrage of “breaking news” at all hours of the day. I think that “breaking news” should be limited to once a month at least. “Oh, the President of Mexico was killed by a flock of albatrosses? Sorry, we used our opportunity up last week. I knew we shouldn’t have run that story on packing peanuts!”

Maybe my cynicism is what’s kept me out of the major.

Garfield Minus Garfield

If I owned a coffee table, this would be perfect for it.

Laugh Tracks and You

When watching sitcoms on TV and they put in a laugh track, I think that the loudness and exuberance of said laughter is way too extreme.

No show is that funny.

I much prefer bandwagon fans in the realm of sports

If you know me, you know of my traitorous opinion of my own major. I’m a political science major, but I work in the Journalism School. I hate the kids in my classes. And yes, I couldn’t stand the last election.

My political leanings aside, these past few months have been a complete burn on my patience. It seems that ever since two months ago, legions of folks who had little to no knowledge of or interest in politics suddenly came out in droves to support their candidates and strive to alienate anyone and everyone that disagreed with anything they said. If you don’t believe me, check the archives of the Alligator from the last few months. Politics really does bring out the worst in people.

But that is only half of my disgust with the entire process. Beginning on the day students came back for the Fall semester, there were countless political activists all over campus. First, it was whether or not I was registered to vote in Alachua County. Then, it was whether or not I was voting early. Then, it was whether I supported Senator Obama or Senator McCain.

Jesus Tapdancing Christ. It was so annoying. I couldn’t walk from class to class without being ceaselessly pestered multiple times. I know this sounds petty, but I’m sure that anyone who was on campus for these past few months will agree with me that it got a bit out of hand. I’m looking forward to getting back to dealing with Brother Micah telling me that I’m going to Hell and the Gideons giving out free Bibles.

Now that it’s over, though, I am elated to not have to deal with the sheep of both parties suddenly caring more about the direction of our country than they ever had. Now we can all concentrate on the most important things of the season: my birthday and football. Oh, how glorious it will be.

Almost as spooky as Matt Garza in game 7 of the ALCS

I hate how this has largely become a photo blog. Hopefully I will find time to write more in the coming months.

I can mumble and be cute… why won't Ellen Page do it with me?

Tonight, Ian and I went on a man-date to the movies to see Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist. And, following an hour of a lifestyle I cannot possibly relate to, I have come to a conclusion. I think it’s funny how Michael Cera plays the exact same character in everything he has ever done.

Arrested Development? Awkwardly charming teenager.
Superbad? Awkwardly charming teenager.
Juno? Awkwardly charming teenager.
Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist? Awkwardly charming teenager.

This is by no means a complaint. I find his films to be quite heartwarming. Plus, he is obviously doing something correctly. I mean, if it works for him, dude should rock the weirdness until his penis falls off from boning the legions of tiny girls who adore the feeling of “AWWWWW” that overcomes them every time they see him avoid eye contact and stutter strangely when making a point.

I just wish I could pull it off, too.