Football makes the world go 'round

November 29th, 2005 / #buccaneers, #football

This weekend, I went to the Bears v. Bucs game in Tampa. My team lost, but as I sat there watching the bungled chip shot field goal that capped off 60 minutes of distress, I couldn’t help but notice the multitude of Chicago fans in the stands. There were a bunch of them. But the fact that they had come to support their team wasn’t really the problem; it was the fact that a clear majority of them were drunk and obnoxious. There was this one fellow sitting on the north end of good old section 317 with a lip ring and a tendency to get loud and intolerable.

When I got home, I decided to take a look at the previous home opponents of this year and assess the merits of those particular fans.

We faced the Jaguars in the preseason and lost, but the bald, shirtless man who could beat the tar out of me who sat immediately to my right made up for it. He was so manly that he could pull off calling people “Brother” like Hulk Hogan. He constantly screamed for his defense in spite of the fact that his booming yell probably made absolutely no difference from the third row from the top of the stadium in a secluded corner of Ray Jay. He was a nice guy, though, bantering with the children in my section and ultimately not being a jerk about his win. He offered a hand shake and an invitation to his section in Alltel Stadium.

Then we played the Texans. I did not have the chance to meet any of the four Houston Texans fans that live in the United States. Maybe next time.

The regular season then began and we played Buffalo. You have to understand something about the Bills: they’re from Buffalo, which is essentially the reject city in New York. So you don’t really get any of the jerks from New York City coming down to watch the Bills. This is a plus when it comes to away fans in Tampa. I only saw one opposing fan being taken down the stairs by security, so all in all it was a good day. Oh, we won by 16 points, too, which was nice.

I sat in a seat on the opposite side of the stadium for the Detroit game. With Detroit’s record, no one really has the right to get haughty. Some young fans in their twenties sat to my left during that game, and aside from the time period during which the Lions’ victory was taken from them by way of a booth review, they were all relatively quiet.

The Dolphins game was a popular one for visiting fans because it was so close to Miami. But here again, there weren’t many fans packed into one section. This is probably because upper level tickets for that game were selling for $400 on the Internet and Fins fans were sporadically dispersed throughout the stands. But the ones that were there were not so obnoxious, probably because they had a pretty hefty drive home ahead of them.

I refused to make any contact with the Carolina fans. Some wore bright blue feather boas. This is not cool.

The Redskins game was the best of the season. I took Angus to this one and, because our seat neighbor Joe traded up for some club seats, we had the pleasure of sitting next to this older man. He sat there in his glasses and ball cap and kindly notified me of all of the rules in football, including one I hadn’t heard concerning the fact that four steps out of bounds that can be seen by 65,000 people on giant video screens actually means that the kick returner is in bounds. You learn something new every day, I guess. But I digress. This fellow didn’t know much about football, but he was kind enough. He put out the fist for brotherly poundage after the final second ticked off the clock. And any man who does this is just fine in my book.

But the Chicago fans? Please. You can take your Miller Light and your silly lip ring and your foul mouth and go back to the Windy City. Have a nice winter.

I’m also looking forward to your immediate loss in round one of the playoffs.

We're 4-0.

October 3rd, 2005 / #buccaneers, #football

I love football. My childhood years meshed together into a giant ball of light orange and countless notches in the “L” column. But then again, such was the plight of a “Buccaneers”: fan in the late 80s and early 90s.

I was raised to appreciate everything about the game: the plays, the players, the strategy. I was brought up in the nosebleed section of old “Tampa Stadium”:’s_Stadium (you know – back when we had to sit in bleachers and when season tickets cost 25% of what they do now), and I was there to say goodbye to the old field in 1997 at the Bucs’ first playoff game since 1982 (against the Detroit Lions, no less).

See, we used to get tickets to whatever games we could so that we could go with Dad. However, since Tampa Bay moved into the new stadium, we’ve only been able to get two season tickets, leaving my good brother Ian and me at home, watching Chris Collinsworth make a buffoon of himself each and every Sunday.

Not anymore. Our name came up on the season ticket waiting list. Sure, our seats are three rows from the top in the farthest corner of the stadium. Sure, they’re in the middle of the row. But darn it, it’s football. And did I mention that I love football?

I like my odds

January 7th, 2005 / #football, #sports

I said it last year at this time, and I’m saying it again: The Seattle Seahawks are America’s new team.

See you in the Superbowl.

EDIT: Never listen to me.

"We want the ball, and we're going to score."

January 5th, 2004 / #football, #gambling, #sports

Week one of NFL playoff action completed. Let’s go over my picks (WinnerMy pick):

Titans (20) @ Ravens (17)
Cowboys (10) @ Panthers (29)
Seahawks (27) @ Packers (33)
Broncos (10) @ Colts (41)

I totally expected those gosh darn Seahawks to win, I even picked them in my Super Bowl pool. It was going to be beautiful: The most unlikely team would win it all, and I would say, “I told you so!” to all the people I bet against as I took their money. But now I just look stupid.

That’ll teach me to gamble.

With those stupid Seahawks.

  • Who I Am

    I'm a nobody from Florida with things to say (sometimes).

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    This is a not-so-detailed account of my adolescence over the course of almost a decade. Here, I shared my thoughts about things of no real consequence while at the same time being reckless with semicolons and flowery language.

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