NYC in a Nutshell
[ 2 Comments ] Posted on 03.20.05 in random
I’ll spare you every last detail of my voyage to the Big Apple by including a brief recap of everything I can remember:
Tampa. La Guardia. Super Shuttle. Milford Plaza Hotel. Carmines. Hotel. Subway. No one smiled. CSPA at Columbia University. Nacho Grill. Guggenheim. Contemplated killing self. Escaped. Hotel. Smiles remain nonexistent. Some deli with big pastrami sandwiches. Hotel. Shower broken. Columbia. Skipped class. Starbucks. Some Asian deli. Times Square. Virgin Records. Saw Whoopie Goldberg. Some pizza joint. Empire State Building. Cold. No smiles. Hotel. Shower still broken. Starbucks. Columbia. Skipped class. Starbucks. Carnegie Deli. Western Omelet. Rockefeller Center. Hotel. Lost on Subway, ended up in Brooklyn. Late for show. Saw 30 minutes of Blue Man Group. Stardust Diner. Sang Hopelessly Devoted to You. Hotel. Shower never to be fixed again. Starbucks. Subway. Smiles? Staten Island Ferry. Thought up theme. Ground Zero. Chinatown. Haggle. Had to pee. Hotel. The Producers. Richard Kind. Alan Ruck. Euro Diner. Western Omelet. Hotel. Euro Pan. Subway. Museum of Natural History. Dinosaurs. Planets. Subway. La Guardia. Tampa. End.
All in all, it was a good trip. I can take or leave New York City, though. It’s such a desolate and lonesome place: 17 million people and not one person has it in them to smile in the subway or talk to one another. That ambiance, my friends, is not the sort I would like to immerse myself in.
The lowest possible point
[ No Comments ] Posted on 03.14.05 in complaints, girls
Since they moved Oak Grove Middle School into a little city of a hundred portables in the field at Clearwater High last year, we’ve had to have crossing guards next to my house come dismissal time. This year, the guard has been driving a white minivan and parking in my front yard.
Recently, though, the vehicle has moved across the street to my drunken neighbor Steve’s house. Interestingly enough, that same van was over at the house on Saturday night. Late Saturday night.
It turns out Steve has a new girlfriend. My brother and I agreed (in all our bitter loneliness) that this mere notion is about the most depressing thing ever.
Baby, you’re a rich man
[ 6 Comments ] Posted on 03.08.05 in politics, work
Wonderful news! Today, I officially qualified myself as a citizen when I received my first ever income tax return. I had to tax the little bit of cash I made this summer, but as a reward for taking a giant hunk of my money, Uncle Sam gave one third of it back!
That’s right, my friends, in my possession is a handy check signed by my regional disbursing officer in the amount of $50.34.
I’m now a man of means; now all I need is a girl on whom to spend it.