What is it?
[ 2 Comments ] Posted on 10.18.05 in internet, television
For those of you who have seen the “What is it?” commercials on television and really, really want to know what “it” is, stay tuned. Your answer’s coming shortly.
For those of you that want to let the advertising campaign work its magic, close this window.
But me? I was curious.
After seeing a commercial drumming up “it” to be the greatest thing on Earth, I went to the Web site that the commercial specified at the end (http://whatis-it.com) hoping that I would figure out what “it” was. No such luck. Apparently, the powers that be won’t be unveiling the true nature of “it” until October 20.
But my brother and I are innately inquisitive. So, with his trusty companion Google, Ian did a WHOIS lookup for the mystical URL and found the name of the woman, Megan Bundy, who registered the domain. Turns out she works for an advertising firm in Manhattan. Yes, we got a name. And an address. And a phone number.
After calling at 10:00 p.m. last night and getting her office voicemail, Ian left a message that was not returned.
However, today I gave Megan Bundy’s office a call. Luckily, I did not talk to Megan herself; I spoke to another young lady who, even though she didn’t get the memo not to spill the beans, was conscious enough to request anonymity when I asked her name.
“I would really prefer to keep that information confidential,” she said.
However, after our two minute conversation, I came away enlightened.
“Think about it,” she said. “What can you get on eBay?”
“Anything,” I said, just realizing the simplicity of it all.
“Exactly. I bought ‘it’ on eBay.”
That was the gist of the conversation. I then spent a minute lauding her presence on a staff that came up with such an idea. It’s so simple. And so good. Because I was so curious and because I tried endlessly to uncover “it,” it’s easy to see that this campaign worked. She offered to transfer me to their creative department, but I had already found out that which I wanted to know.
Congratulations, Megan, on a truly ingenious scheme.
Since sliced bread
[ 10 Comments ] Posted on 07.15.05 in bliss, television
I am fully aware of the fact that there cannot possibly exist more than, say, four people in the entire world that share my opinions on this matter. However, because the Internet is an outlet for my (always correct) thoughts on a variety of subjects, I’m just going to go ahead and say this because it needs to be said.
Up until a week ago, I wouldn’t watch MTV if my life depended on it. I felt that it would make my brain rot into a casserole of knowledge that once was. However, as an ordinary teenager in the United States, I have learned to embrace the inanity of it all and settle for a mediocre intellectual existence.
That said, brace yourself for the opinion that may encourage you to close your browser and never read my ramblings again:
The “Andy Milonakis Show”:http://www.mtv.com/onair/andy_milonakis/ on MTV is the best show on basic cable today.
I know – it’s a radical view. But this guy throws the best random and in-your-face humor fight at you and you are forced to keep up with his outrageous antics or get left behind in the dust of pure genius. Unfortunately, a majority of the world is so closed minded that the art behind the scripting of the Andy Milonakis Show is lost behind immature cries for more mind numbing filth like “Date My Mom”:http://www.mtv.com/onair/dyn/date_my_mom/series.jhtml or “Room Raiders”:http://www.mtv.com/onair/dyn/room_raiders/series.jhtml and is therefore destined to die a pretty quick death.
Those ignorant fools.
Escaping Reality
[ 3 Comments ] Posted on 06.07.05 in television
You know, every time I see that advertisement on television for Geico Auto Insurance that starts out by introducing a new reality show in which a newly married couple live in a miniature version of a house and their trials and tribulations, my hopes are absolutely obliterated when I find out that it was just a gag to get me to buy insurance. That would be a really, really funny show.
Mind you, I am the kind of guy who has never once seen an episode of _Survivor_, been entertained by _The Apprentice_, nor laughed at Joe Rogan. I mean, I’ve seen _Fear Factor_, but Joe Rogan is not funny.
Anyway, I digress. I think that, given a hefty paycheck, Fox could hire me as a conceptual program designer. I mean, I’ve got an eye for both the ideas that do not suck (such as the forthcoming list) and the ideas that blow (such as every reality show on television except for that one where the girl had to choose which guy was really her father – that was genius).
So, Fox executives, consider this list of the greatest television program ideas my application to your team. I expect a salary of at least $150,000 annually with a $100,000 signing bonus and my own parking space. The latter is nonnegotiable.
# Okay, so you get a young married couple that is looking to adopt some kids, right? Then, you get 20 orphans from the local orphanage and have them participate in competitions, during which time they are eliminated one by one until the winner is decided. The winner gets a new home and family, while his 19 counterparts get to go back and spend the rest of their lives with the evil Miss Hanigan.
# Okay, so you get a group of twenty or so young people, right? Then, you surgically detach their legs and put them back on backwards. Then you could let them all live in one house (see _The Real World_). Of course, you would have to get a whole slew of conflicting personalities: the prissy cheerleader; the gnarly surfer type who might be exploring the different nooks and crannies of his sexuality; the tramp-like 24 year old who looks two times her age; the raging black dude who resents the fact that he’s the only African American in the house; the big fat party animal; and a skinny little nerdly boy who has a big, fat high school crush on anything within thirty feet sporting a vagina.
# Okay, so you get a group of monkeys together, right? Then, put them in a house together that they are not permitted to leave (see _Big Brother_). Then, because there would be no truly significant value in the show at this point, get “Bob Saget”:http://www.bobsagetisgod.com/ to come in and do voiceovers for each of the individual primates within the house – all in the exact same voice. That should pull this show out of the gutter; it worked for America’s Funniest Home Videos.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. These ideas are not funny, with the exceptions of item one and the last part of item three. But are you telling me that if someone was to put these gems on your boob tube, you would rather watch The Weather Channel or Lifetime? I think not.
So, bring it on, Fox. I have the power to turn every television set in America into an unavoidable idiot magnet.