I wasted all that gas for nothing?
[ No Comments ] Posted on 03.24.08 in college, funny stories
Because I am such a lazy individual, when scheduling my classes for this semester only one thing mattered to me.
No, I don’t care if this class is an upper level class. No, I don’t care that this class is taught by the same man who taught me a year ago and didn’t think it necessary to dress up for class. And no, I don’t care if this class is about French politics and society.
Darn it, this class doesn’t start until two.
I knew it was for me.
What was not for me, however, was the fact that I, you know, actually have to do stuff for this class.
I was assigned a paper to be due last Thursday. And, you know, since I’m such an exciting individual, I stayed in and wrote it on St. Patrick’s Day so it would be all ready to go three days after.
Thursday came, and I woke up in time for class, got dressed, and made my way off to campus, where I realized that I had left my beautiful analysis (read: complete BS) of the French executive in the Fifth Republic at home.
Oh, crap.
Now, this wasn’t quite as stressful as the Macroeconomics affair of a year ago, but it was still pretty bad. I had twenty minutes to get to class or else I would undoubtedly get a zero on this paper and somehow be sent back to the fourth grade. So, without breaking a sweat, I sped through the suburban side roads of Gainesville at 50 miles per hour until I made it home, grabbed my paper, and got back to class right as it was scheduled to begin. I approached the door and saw a sign hanging there.
“Dr. Conley’s class has been canceled today (3/20). Turn your papers in next Tuesday.”
Just wait until I get it into a sleeper hold
[ No Comments ] Posted on 02.19.08 in funny stories, random, work
I know that the legions who have kept up with my life these past five years can attest to the fact that I am the moral foe of many a chair. However, I have managed to come away from the epic battles I’ve had with my companions as the victor, literally sitting in them until they become decimated skeletons of their former selves. For proof, click here and here.
Well, apparently the battle continues, though the chairs are gaining a stiff edge on me in my old age. Yesterday, as the FSPA Director was talking to me in the office, I only managed to simultaneously rip off two pieces of plastic from our newest computer chair. And, you know, since the chair belongs to work I’m kind of obligated to fix it.
You may have won the battle, chair, but not the war.
I will probably drop dead within a month
[ No Comments ] Posted on 02.03.08 in food, friends, funny stories
Well, somehow my lifestyle as an unhealthy and bored college student has caught up with me and my friends.
Lately, we have been aching for things to do on the weekends. And seeing that we are not particularly interesting or anything, we have had to create fun things to do in the absence of actual social lives. Over break, we were confined to the realm of our hometown, the parent-filled purgatory of any college student. Ergo, we made socially acceptable things to do, most of which involved wandering aimlessly in our local Wal-Marts and ending the evening at Steak n’ Shake.
Now, this is all well and good, but it can get old after about one night spent in the toy aisles, pressing the button that cues the novelty horn on every miniature Dukes of Hazzard General Lee.
So, we’ve come up with a new game: generally, I attempt an absolutely amazing feat and if I can successfully accomplish this, my best buddy Angus has to do something silly.
Last week, I was dared to eat 10 tacos and an order of Nachos Bel Grande from Taco Bell. In return, Angus allowed us to bind his wrists and ankles for the rest of the night. While this sounds lame, I can assure you that it was quite humorous – at least until he had to go to the bathroom and I was the one in charge of removing his pants. If this sounds gay, it’s probably because it is.
Tonight, I was challenged to eat a Frisco Melt platter from Steak n’ Shake in addition to three double cheeseburgers and a large order of fries from McDonald’s.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “You, Casey, are the least healthy person on the face of the planet.”
Yes, I agree. And I regret this. But friends, the payout on this wager was marvelous: Angus Wade Hill was forced to shave his arms and legs.
Petty? Yes.
Silly? Yes.
Hilarious? Unequivocally, yes.
I know that all of this sounds extremely juvenile. However, I think we can all agree that as time progresses and the hilarity of Angus’ payback grows so too will the necessity of this entire process for the sake of physical humor both in Alachua County and our lives.
That said, any thoughts on what next weekend’s challenge should entail? We are running out of ideas.