Every Freshman’s Worst Nightmare

Posted on 04.30.07 2:11PM in college, funny stories

Today was a normal day. I got up at 10:30, watched Cold Pizza on ESPN, took my shower, and was beginning to loaf around when I got a test message from my good buddy James: “That was a hard test.” Naturally, I assumed he was talking about the morning version of the Macroeconomics final. I thought this to be rather unfortunate, because I knew I would have to take the nighttime version at 8:20 tonight. But then I thought to myself, “Gee, self: it’s 11:30. If James were to take the morning version of the final, he would have finished around 9:30. His text message is a bit late, unless…”

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

I quickly looked at the syllabus. There it was: the only version of the final offered today was scheduled to be administered at 10:00. I threw on a shirt, slapped on my flip-flops, and proceeded to find a previously unknown to me fifth gear in my little, four cylinder, Ford Focus as I raced across the city, on my way to beg someone to let me take a test for which I was sorely unprepared. I made it to school by speeding down 13th Street, going over the curb and the wrong way down a one-way street, and parking illegally in a faculty lot outside of Mallory Hall. Angus was walking to his room and greeted me. I just said “Hey!”

I took off my flip flops and ran as fast as a fat guy can run clear across the campus to where the test was being given. I couldn’t really communicate with the TAs in the room at the time, as I was out of breath. They told me to go to Professor Dave Denslow’s office and wait. I did this, and as I walked into Matherly Hall, I noticed that I stunk. No, I reeked. No matter. If I didn’t get to take this exam, I fail the class. And I had only taken 12 credits this semester.

I skedaddled up the stairs to good old room 218, where I was pleasantly surprised to see more than one person in my position. I stated my case to the TA on duty, who then told me to wait. Fifteen minutes later, I was taking a rather difficult Macroeconomics final. I am going to be penalized 15 points for my inability to comprehend test times, but I guess that this story will serve as a warning to those inept fools like me who don’t care to read their syllabi.

Read Comments

  1. Posted by Dan on 04.30.07 at 19:02:05

    jesus christ that is a nightmare. hopefully some good can come of this, like your 15 point deduction going towards giving me the 10 point curve i need to make an A.

  2. Posted by Ian on 04.30.07 at 21:32:15

    Is it too early . . . ?


  3. Posted by Lorie on 05.08.07 at 15:37:23

    The only thing I have to offer is I fell asleep during a final once. I was up all night studying and actually fell asleep at my desk during a final. Luckily my best friend was sitting next to me and kept coughing at random intervals trying to wake me up. I woke up with just enough time to finish the test, but I was definitely asleep, during a final exam. I’m pretty sure your story is way worse though. Glad nothing bad happened to you along the way!

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