Trouble Brewing

August 22nd, 2010 / #food, #funny stories, #usfsp

A couple of days ago, I went to the journalism department’s orientation to be inundated with dates and deadlines that, at present, seem like they are going to roll around sometime during the next millennium. After that, I joined some of my new comrades at the campus tavern (which, incidentally, is called The Tavern).

As we sat outside beneath the roar of planes from the airfield next door, everyone decided that it would be prudent to drink beer. If you have known me for any amount of time, you know of my rocky relationship with this most insidious beverage. It’s gross. It’s beyond gross. I smell it – nay, I look at it the wrong way – and I am mere steps away from an esophageal eruption on par with most active volcanoes.

However, as I sat at a picnic table with a bunch of other people around my age I realized that my life cannot proceed like this. As disgusting as beer is, it is becoming clear that the path to normal twenty-something relations invariably travels through a brewery.

So like I had done many times before, I told myself, “Self, it’s time to man up. You’ve got to learn to drink beer again. Your future depends on it!”

I stopped by Publix on the way home and bought a six pack of Killian’s Irish Red. I now realize that this was probably a poor choice for a new beginner. Regardless, I proceeded home, whipped up some dinner, and cracked open a longneck.

I took two sips.

Now there are now five beer bottles sitting in the fridge, wondering where their brother has gone and waiting for my father to get home so they can join him. I only hope my special condition isn’t too detrimental in my social life during the next two years.


There is only one comment. Add to the marketplace of ideas!

  1. Katie spoke up on August 22, 2010.

    As a working journalist, I will not hesitate to share this adivce:

    Lots of beer is terrible. Lots is great. Consider making friends with a beer snob for guidance. I didn’t like beer until I had a good one.

    You’re right that drinking is important for bonding between (aspiring) journalists. Learn to love scotch. Become an expert bartender. I’ve even encountered a few wine snobs in the newsroom. As long as you’re drinking *something*, you’ll fit in fine. You know, as long as you’re not a lightweight.

    Cheers!

Sorry, but comments are closed. Some things are best said in a vacuum.

  • Who I Am

    I'm a nobody from Florida with things to say (sometimes).

  • What This Is

    This is a not-so-detailed account of my adolescence over the course of almost a decade. Here, I shared my thoughts about things of no real consequence while at the same time being reckless with semicolons and flowery language.

    I used this website to connect with folks before Facebook. Today, I sometimes chronicle interesting thoughts and observations I have. I don't update as much as I should.

  • Colophon

    This soapbox is powered by WordPress 3.0.5. The theme is inspired by Randa Clay's Bluebird.