Punishment

February 24th, 2004 / #ib, #random

Okay, okay. Joke time. And trust me, this one is good.

The year is 2200, and there is an intergalactic war going on between two feuding groups of people: the Federation (from the planet Xzorba) and the Revolt, a militant terrorist group that sprung up for the first time in the year 2185 with the leader Bork LimFlanderflot, a radical revolutionary from the planet Untorplation. Both sides feud over the much debated sector 567-G.b, a region four million miles from the star Alpha-Centauri containing numerous deposits of the element Tungsten, necessary for the future of both the Federation and the Revolt.

For about a decade the war goes on without an end in sight. Both groups are losing galactic cruisers and troops faster than the universe expands, and the growing generation of each planet is pushed into intergalactic military service long before they morally equipped to make a decision as to their stance on the issue. Things are going from bad to worse when, out of the small planet Intorbi rises a group of beings against the war that has oppressed the universe for so long. Led by commander Lief Rootinbarque, this group of peaceful revolutionaries calls themselves the Resistance. In efforts of stopping the war, they too become involved, determined to either bring the quarrelling sides to a peaceful agreement or to kill off each army and instigate a peace through death.

Something you must understand about war in the year 2200 is that each legion of soldiers is measured in units called “tiles,” a unit coined by Dr. Simon Vondrittle of the planet Earth in the year 2194. The more troops, battleships, artillery, and weapons a military possesses, the more tiles said military earns. Such an army is “multi-tile.”

The Resistance announces they join the war on November 30, 2211, and at the daily staff briefing of the Federation, the commander, Jollip Deetroot asks his chief of war, Mr. Kindrio Yakamasuki (an intern from Japan) to assess the Resistance’s power.

Yakamasuki replies, “Sir, I’m going to be honest: they have one tenth the battleship cruisers we have, they have less than one thousand men, and their weapon systems are about 200 years old. Sir, the resistance is few tile.”

GET IT?! Few tile?! Futile?! Mr. Dull’s C¾ class really enjoyed that one at break today.

Sometimes I disappoint even myself.

comments (4)

There are 4 comments. Such a lively discussion!

  1. Ian the Lawyer spoke up on October 15, 2005.

    That joke sucks.

  2. Casey spoke up on October 15, 2005.

    You’re just jealous you don’t have the ability to make GOLD like that up on a whim!

  3. Angus spoke up on October 15, 2005.

    No-it sucks

  4. Casey spoke up on October 15, 2005.

    I’m pretty sure you’re confusing “sucks” with “ROCKS TILL THE SUN SHINES NO MORE!”

Sorry, but comments are closed. Some things are best said in a vacuum.

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