The most disgusting entry to date

April 2nd, 2005 / #music

Last night, I didn’t want to deal with the daily hassles of teenagerdom, so I escaped all of that by vowing to high-tail it out of this town and to not answer my cell phone. So, if I ditched you last night, I’m sorry. The same goes for if I didn’t pick up your call. I needed it.

To escape from the perils of Pinellas, my brother and I trekked down to Sarasota, where we used our last minute concert tickets. The act? Art Garfunkel.

You know, the tall, quite one with froofy hair from Simon and Garfunkel. He’s lost a bit of his hair by now, seeing as how he’s like a billion years old and all. The show was pretty good; he has quite the pretty voice and can really belt out a love song.

But I think his career is really going downhill. He couldn’t even sell out a small performing arts venue. And we got front row tickets from a scalper for $45 for the pair. That isn’t very good when the tickets have a face value of over $40.

Maybe his lack of support is a product of the way he puts on a show. He’s very queer about every thing he does on stage. During the long instrumental bridges in the songs, he would pretend to play the instruments that were being played by the band. A little air guitar here, some imaginary drums there, and a whole heck of a lot of fake piano playing everywhere else.

Another thing I noticed, and pardon me for being the biggest hypocrite in the world after razzing Art for his gaity, was the fact that *Art Garfunkel is hung like a HORSE*. He wore the tightest pants he could find on the clearance rack at Ross and, I swear to you that it was two entities singing to us last night: man and beast.

It was like hitting two birds with one stone while at the same time getting more bang for your buck. That’s two acts for the price of one!

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  1. Kyle spoke up on October 15, 2005.

    That was both one of the funniest and scariest things I have read in a while.
    Thank you Casey

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