And now for something completely different

When I was in middle school, I thought it was the bomb to make little Geocities Web sites and establish my presence on the Internet. Now that I look back, I didn’t really put much emphasis on making that presence a professional one.

Who wants to see Jimmy Buffett dancing in a tutu? I think everyone does.

Underneath 13th Street

Ben's haircut

Lately, my parents have been advocating giving the dog a haircut for the summer. I was originally very opposed to this, but gradually decided that it might be comfortable for Ben. I have since changed my mind again.

Before, Man’s Best Friend looked like this (nestled snugly in his chair with the cat):

Two trips to the vet and $80 later, however, my dog looks like a giant naked mole rat with an unusually hairy head:

Not again!

If you have been reading my pointless ramblings for some time now, maybe you can recall the time my chair snapped in two from right under me while I was computing.

I thought gravity had finished with me. Not true. Though I’ve relocated my computer and begun to use a sturdy, wooden chair, it seems that the cruel gods of chair fortune had something else in store for me.

Ladies and gentlemen, it happened again:

I should get out more.

The Return of the Man Boobs

My mom just found a T-shirt from Jimmy Buffett’s 1981 Coconut Telegraph Tour. It was one of the first concerts that my folks enjoyed together. Unfortunately, my love for Jimmy and my mom’s slender build at the age of 20 do not mix.

Now, I present for your viewing pleasure the cliche Internet photograph of an unkempt blogger wearing a shirt too small for his frame and looking to his right:

The pain means it's working

Today, I was just minding my own business and sitting at my computer when all of a sudden I leaned back and my computer chair broke in half. Literally. My head hit the tile floor, my legs and feet kicked up and slammed against the bottom of the table upon which my PC sits, and a slew of extra computer chair parts began digging into my body.

!http://www.sociallyconsciousbird.com/storage/images/chair01.jpg!

Perhaps this is God’s way of telling me that I spend too much time using the computer.

Free food

An actual banner ad I found while surfing today:

Dimples

Sarah sent me this:

And what’s this?! I have DIMPLES!

This, if nothing, must make me cute.

Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign

I’ve been wanting to post this for the longest time but never got around to it, but now it’s Saturday and I finished my English homework about a half hour ago, so I have the time (and ambition) to do it. Plus, Taryn keeps on yelling at me for not updating.

Totally unrelated to what I was just saying, my keyboard just clicked on and off. Odd.

Now then, digressing. I live in Clearwater; it’s the Largo to Palm Harbor and the Inverness to Pinellas Park. It’s medium ground in terms of economic stability, economy, and general public knowledge. I hold my fellow Clearwatereans to a fairly liberal standard when it comes to their education and the manner in which they convey their thoughts and advertisements. Sure, if in a classified ad I see an accidental apostrophe put on a word that is meant to be pluralized, I note the mistake and read on – in the words of Mike Meyers on coffee talk, “no big whoop.”

But this is beyond my tolerance level. I’ve been driving past this building on the corner of Old Coachman and Belcher for years now, and when I’m at the stop light in front of it, I play sort of a game with myself to see if I can spot all of the mistakes in the sign. Granted, there are no actual grammatical errors aside from the name of the business being in all caps, but the fact that whoever owns AMERICAN HOME MORTGAGE cannot fasten letters correctly to a building simply makes me stammer with anger. I would have expected more from my fellow citizens. I’ll point out all of the mistakes in the sign for you now:

1. The first “M” is backwards.
2. The first “E” is upside-down.
3. The first “C” is upside-down.
4. The second “A” is backwards.
5. The second “M” is backwards.
6. The second “E” is upside-down.
7. The third “M” is backwards.
8. The third “E” is upside-down.

Although, those two little American flags make up for everything. They must not be terrorists.

Anger Management

Death to Blinky