Bust Santa’s Zit!
[ 1 Comment ] Posted on 01.08.06 in Christmas, New Year's
It’s really not often that something catches my attention when I wake up for school on weekdays. I mean, it’s 5 a.m. and I probably didn’t get much sleep. If you want me to look through my cloudy eyes and make myself forget that I am supremely angry at all things in the world at such an ungodly hour, you’ve gotta be pretty awesome.
My friends, behold one of the few things that would actually make me press PrtScrn at the most insane time of the day:
Happy New Year!
CAS is over!
[ No Comments ] Posted on 12.29.05 in IB, music
To complete my mandated CAS hours for IB, I worked my tail off during these past two weeks at the Hospice Thrift Shop in Clearwater. I tell you, nothing beats multiple 8-hour days with the grumpiest, oldest people on God’s green Earth. Except maybe Root Canal Thursdays.
Anyhow, every radio in this little dirty store is constantly tuned into 105.5 (WDUV), which is apparently my choice for easy favorites. You know, old peopley stuff like Herb Alpert and Neil Diamond and Anne Murray. Now, I’m not saying that all of this music is bad. Heck, in fact, I love the majority of the songs they play (minus Anne Murray, of course). I’m a bland and uninteresting guy who is about as clueless to pop culture as people from Alabama are oblivious to the fact that the South lost the civil war. No, folks, the South will not rise again. Get over it.
But I digress. Like I said, I’m down with most of the songs on 105.5. But, folks, once you’ve stopped yourself from singing along to the same Peter Cetera song more than two times during the same shift, you know that you’ve been volunteering way too much.
Boy, am I glad to be done.
The Return of the Clapper
[ 3 Comments ] Posted on 12.26.05 in Christmas, awesomeness
If you recall, last Christmas I told you about the greatest Christmas gift I had ever received or ever would receive. Santa gave me my Clapper, and all was right with the world.
What I didn’t tell you, however, was the perilous tale of how I managed to break my Clapper mere weeks after getting it. A word to the wise: never vacuum with your Dirt Devil plugged into a Clapper. It’ll work, but as you get closer and closer to the electrical outlet, the Clapper mistakes the moaning and groaning of the vacuum for innocent bouts of applause, causing the vacuum cleaner to turn on and off so much that the fuses and electronic components of the Clapper end up fried. In honor of Clapper #1′s memory, therefore, I have refused to clean my carpet for a year. It would be too traumatic.
This Christmas, though, I got a replacement Clapper. I have yet to hook it up to anything, though I think I’ll just put it on my lava lamp and this neon Corona Extra sign that my Mom stole from a bar for me.
The point of this story, though, is that Santa did it once again. Right when I thought that nothing could be worse because I had to undertake the arduous task of flipping a switch to turn on my lamp, good ole Chris Cringle came through in the clutch to brighten my life. And for that, I am forever grateful.