A Late One
[ 4 Comments ] Posted on 03.30.04 in awesomeness, food
This past week I went with my youth group to tour colleges around America’s eastern states. Soon into the trip, we found ourselves at Transylvania University in Lexington, Kentucky. Those kind folks let us eat in their cafeteria, and yes: it was typical college food.
Or so I thought, until I stepped up to the soda fountain. Coke? No. Sprite? No. But then, like a glimmering beacon in the Midwestern sky that illuminated my meal and, inevitably, my life, shone the logo of a soft drink called Ale-8-1. Now, a plain white background with a red ALE81 on the back would normally dissuade me from partaking in such a beverage, but just before I stepped away from the fountain to fill up my cup with another cola, I saw the subtitle on the label for Ale-8-1: “Kentucky’s Soft Drink.”
“Kentucky’s soft drink?! A whole state of refined citizens such as the loyal Kentuckians can’t be wrong!”
So with that, a beautiful relationship began. Before the end of the meal consisting of one grilled cheese sandwich and an entire plate full of creamed corn, I had downed 4 glasses of the most glorious ale and, like a child at the end of Frosty the Snowman where Frosty melts, lowered my head into a weep knowing that I would never see my beloved Ale-8-1 again – it being Kentucky’s Soft Drink and all. I doubt Kentucky would want to share such a blessing with dirty old Florida.
As I walked out of the college and to the van which was about to depart for Nashville, Tennessee, I saw it. Just like the beacon that shone so brightly in the soft drinks line minutes before, the machine emitted sort of a glow; not a light that would catch the normal person by surprise, but a certain difference was noticeable between the Ale-8-1 and the other dim and uninviting machines. Sure, it looked like it was 40 years old. Sure, most of the buttons didn’t work. And sure, 60 cents is an odd price for a soda. But there it stood, coaxing the dimes from my pocket and filling my stomach with liquid sunshine.
I bought two cans that day, and all the convenience stores around were closed. Two cans were all I could afford, and one actually made it home with me tonight. It stood in the fridge and, as it became cold, I’m pretty sure I could hear faint cries from the insulated realm of frigid consumables crying for the mercy of this newcomer: “Don’t hurt me, Ale-8-1! We do respect you, master! You are our king!” Never heard another beverage cry for mercy? Believe me, the orange juice can act like a little schoolgirl.
As I sit back and drink it now, I can’t tell why I like it. It’s sort of like ginger ale, but without the ginger. A watered down cream soda and a less-carbonated Sprite, so to speak.
It could be the fact that there is a mere 37mg of caffeine within it’s delightful splendor. But I’ve never really been a stickler for health content; that must not be it.
Maybe it’s the name. Sure, “Ale Eighty-one,” You say. And that’s what I thought until I saw the vending machine. The soda fountain read Ale81, but the machine read Ale-8-One. So, for about two days I supposed it to be pronounced “Ale Eight One.” Until, of course I read upon the can that I purchased for sixty cents, “A late one.” You would think that a person such as I, one who can spot a lousy pun from a mile away, would be able to decipher such a name in a speedier time than that. Nevertheless, it is indeed “a late one,” a name that boggles my mind further and increases my love for the beverage.
I still don’t know what it’s all about. Nor do I care. As I sit here and drink the last of the perfection that was successfully canned back in Elizabethtown, Kentucky, I can’t help but mourn the fact that unless I obtain a credit card and order some from the internet or move to beautiful Appalachia, I will never again taste the glory that has grazed my taste buds for the past week.
I salute you, Ale-8-1.
What a time to live.
[ 2 Comments ] Posted on 03.23.04 in awesomeness
What a time to live.
You flip a switch and there, the room is lit.
You turn a knob and water flows into your sink.
You sit down at your computer and are able to communicate with someone from the other side of the world.
You can send a letter from Florida to Alaska for 37 cents.
If you’re hot, you can pull a cord from the ceiling and blades will circulate the air to cool you.
You can let your fingers do the walking and call across the planet through wires and satellites.
People come and take your trash from you every week.
Toilet paper is quilted for our comfort.
Invisible waves travel through the air constantly and are made into sounds and pictures by our radios and television sets, respectively.
Although we may not realize it, air, the one substance that keeps us alive is all around us at any given moment.
So when you think you have it bad, take a look at all the things you have and try not to take them for granted.
Ms. Pac Man
[ 1 Comment ] Posted on 03.19.04 in awesomeness, video games
Some people might tell you it’s all about timing.
Sure, knowing when to steer right and left is important, but the key is to know your opponents, not to just steer clear of them at all costs. You cannot dominate your enemies until you first associate with them.
Blinky, known earlier as “Shadow” will just follow you. He gains speed as dots are collected and, when provoked, can be merciless.
Inky tries to do the same as his Red counterpart, but to no avail. However, one shouldn’t underestimate his speed and agility.
Pinky, while he is a threat, travels the farthest route to you as possible. Not too frightening, but for a lone yellow sphere in a world of ghosts, he can be right freaky.
Sue is the woman of the bunch. She may be a token character, but the orange beast stands guard to the area while her brothers do the dirty work.
But knowing how the little fellows operate isn’t enough; one has to actually spend time with them to see what they like. What route to take. How their eyes move before they turn. And, after a while, you begin to relate to them.
Me? I think I’m like Pinky. Why? Certs me.