A Late One
Posted on 03.30.04 4:14PM in awesomeness, food
This past week I went with my youth group to tour colleges around America’s eastern states. Soon into the trip, we found ourselves at Transylvania University in Lexington, Kentucky. Those kind folks let us eat in their cafeteria, and yes: it was typical college food.
Or so I thought, until I stepped up to the soda fountain. Coke? No. Sprite? No. But then, like a glimmering beacon in the Midwestern sky that illuminated my meal and, inevitably, my life, shone the logo of a soft drink called Ale-8-1. Now, a plain white background with a red ALE81 on the back would normally dissuade me from partaking in such a beverage, but just before I stepped away from the fountain to fill up my cup with another cola, I saw the subtitle on the label for Ale-8-1: “Kentucky’s Soft Drink.”
“Kentucky’s soft drink?! A whole state of refined citizens such as the loyal Kentuckians can’t be wrong!”
So with that, a beautiful relationship began. Before the end of the meal consisting of one grilled cheese sandwich and an entire plate full of creamed corn, I had downed 4 glasses of the most glorious ale and, like a child at the end of Frosty the Snowman where Frosty melts, lowered my head into a weep knowing that I would never see my beloved Ale-8-1 again – it being Kentucky’s Soft Drink and all. I doubt Kentucky would want to share such a blessing with dirty old Florida.
As I walked out of the college and to the van which was about to depart for Nashville, Tennessee, I saw it. Just like the beacon that shone so brightly in the soft drinks line minutes before, the machine emitted sort of a glow; not a light that would catch the normal person by surprise, but a certain difference was noticeable between the Ale-8-1 and the other dim and uninviting machines. Sure, it looked like it was 40 years old. Sure, most of the buttons didn’t work. And sure, 60 cents is an odd price for a soda. But there it stood, coaxing the dimes from my pocket and filling my stomach with liquid sunshine.
I bought two cans that day, and all the convenience stores around were closed. Two cans were all I could afford, and one actually made it home with me tonight. It stood in the fridge and, as it became cold, I’m pretty sure I could hear faint cries from the insulated realm of frigid consumables crying for the mercy of this newcomer: “Don’t hurt me, Ale-8-1! We do respect you, master! You are our king!” Never heard another beverage cry for mercy? Believe me, the orange juice can act like a little schoolgirl.
As I sit back and drink it now, I can’t tell why I like it. It’s sort of like ginger ale, but without the ginger. A watered down cream soda and a less-carbonated Sprite, so to speak.
It could be the fact that there is a mere 37mg of caffeine within it’s delightful splendor. But I’ve never really been a stickler for health content; that must not be it.
Maybe it’s the name. Sure, “Ale Eighty-one,” You say. And that’s what I thought until I saw the vending machine. The soda fountain read Ale81, but the machine read Ale-8-One. So, for about two days I supposed it to be pronounced “Ale Eight One.” Until, of course I read upon the can that I purchased for sixty cents, “A late one.” You would think that a person such as I, one who can spot a lousy pun from a mile away, would be able to decipher such a name in a speedier time than that. Nevertheless, it is indeed “a late one,” a name that boggles my mind further and increases my love for the beverage.
I still don’t know what it’s all about. Nor do I care. As I sit here and drink the last of the perfection that was successfully canned back in Elizabethtown, Kentucky, I can’t help but mourn the fact that unless I obtain a credit card and order some from the internet or move to beautiful Appalachia, I will never again taste the glory that has grazed my taste buds for the past week.
I salute you, Ale-8-1.
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Posted by Lorie on 10.15.05 at 14:41:23
This was fr3aking brilliant. Loved it! Wish I could write this well!
Posted by Pete on 10.15.05 at 14:41:44
ah yes, I stumbled upon it myself, being from NY, it is hard to find good soft drinks that aren’t name brand …yet. My sister who went to a college near Kentucky first introduced me to the fine marvel of ale when she brought some home with her to celebrate Christmas once. Every time she came back since she had to have the delicates with her or I wouldn’t let her in the house (not really, I’d just remind her to bring them next time).
Posted by Tony on 10.15.05 at 14:42:12
Back in ’89, my friend and I were driving through Kentucky on our way home to Oregon. We bought some Ale-8-1 and loved it. I just remember it having a unique taste that was unlike anything else. When my friend and I look back on our cross-country trip, we have tons of great memories. I never thought that the soda purchase we made in Kentucky would end up on the top of our “most memorable” list.
By the way, your writing is great.
Posted by Mark Vires on 03.21.08 at 10:03:03
I live here in Ky. If you need a supplier, maybe we can work something out. A lot of folks around here even put it in their baby bottles, or just give the kids a bottle. It is truly dear to our hearts I’ve consumed it as long as I remember. A great breakfast drink as well. Coca-Cola picked up distributing rights outside of the state a few years back. Maybe check with them. Also, check out the Ale-8-one website pretty unique t-shirts and stuff.
I did enjoy your writing as well!