When the moon hits your eye
[ 1 Comment ] Posted on 12.24.04 in awesomeness, food
Why is it that cold pizza is so much better than the warm stuff? It’s the same pizza; nothing has been added or taken away from the pie.
I imagine it could be because you don’t have to deal with the hot pizza predicament. You know: when the pizza is just served and is so hot that the mouth naturally puckers and you scour the tabletop for a beverage to calm the raging inferno within your pallet. With a few hours of refrigerating time under the proverbial pepperoni belt, such situations are successfully evaded and the pizza can be enjoyed with no fear of burnination.
Some may say that cold pizza is the nuts because of the solidifying of the cheese. Sure, it sucks when you’re faced with the problem of stretchy, warm cheese that continually slips off of the slice. So perhaps by slowing down some molecular, gooey movement in the chilly recesses of the fridge, the problem is avoided, and the avoidance of such a problem serves as another tally in the plus column of cold pizza’s plus and delta chart.
But while these aforementioned reasons are quintessential in considering cold pizza’s dominance over its warmer counterpart, there is one reason that trumps them all. I don’t have to do any work to eat cold pizza, whereas obtaining a piping hot pie would necessitate ample work on my part. I’d have to find a place to get some pizza, order it, wait for it, eat it, and pay for it. Just walking to the icebox and yanking out a slice thats been chilling for some time, however, calls for just a few steps in the right direction and a quick yank of the arm.
All in all, I’m pretty sure that it’s the lack of work necessary to obtain a piece of cold pizza that makes eating it so appealing. Because, after all, everything tastes better if it’s free.
Tubular, dude
[ 2 Comments ] Posted on 12.16.04 in awesomeness, food
People give hot dogs a bad rap. I mean, they can’t help what they are; tubes of assorted meaty goodness are by their nature unable to alter their state of being.
Sure, they’re made of a bunch of different animals and wrapped into a tubular shape with some sort of edible and fleshy material. And some people may find fault in this scheme. Not I, however. I view the hot dog as one of God’s gifts to man: an unrelenting source of nourishment and disposal in one compact, easy to handle package of delight.
In thinking about it, the hot dog is actually an efficient form of disposal. What should we do with excess animal parts? If not pack them into commercially marketed tubes for public consumption, what other alternative is there? If anything, the Oscar Meyers and Hebrew Nationals of the world are saving the world from the sticky situation of not having anywhere to put its excess cow tongues.
Plus, hot dogs are really, really tasty. I feel bad for the two poor birds that were hit by the deli folk’s rock.
Homecoming Huzzahs
[ 8 Comments ] Posted on 10.12.04 in awesomeness, complaints, high school
Homecoming week is insanely overrated. Girls pacing in the hallways talking to other girls about “him,” everyone dressing up for exceedingly lame theme days in the week leading up to the dance, and, yes, even the dance itself.
There are only three aspects of this week that have me somewhat excited:
First, there is a general lack of schoolwork. Teachers, for some reason, see what I do not in regards to this occasion and, as such, they aren’t assigning much work. Huzzah for controlled apathy!
Second, Wednesday is the only good theme day, especially for the Juniors this year. We are dressing in the garb of the 1970s: the decade of Welcome Back Kotter, Richard Milhouse, and the later years of the unwarranted military action in Viet Nam. In fact, I just went to the local Salvation Army to find pants that complement my and white leather shoes. Huzzah for the attire of the poor people who saw the last of the Volkswagen Beetles roll off the line in 1974 to make way for the ever-lame Superbeetles!
Last, there is football on Thursday. Though I’ll have to finagle getting out of the weekly Thursday Night Chicken Wing ritual at O’Keefe’s with my family, I look forward to seeing the PHUHS ‘Canes grab their second win of the season. Granted, our first win was just last week, but I’m going out on a limb and guessing that this is the beginning of a trend and our season is on the up-and-up. Huzzah for, if anything, a good laugh!
Other than that, the general atmosphere of Homecoming isn’t special. I’m not saying that this is a bad week, as I would never be so Grinch-esque. It’s just another normal week, just made into something it isn’t by people. I don’t blame these folks or look down upon them, it’s a mere difference of opinion.
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P.S. I will, however, be going to dinner on Friday night at Angellino’s. What can I say, I’m a sucker for buffets.