The most boring post ever
[ 3 Comments ] Posted on 02.08.06 in random
This is inconsequential. But it’s pretty important to me. I’ve made a drastic life change. And while it may not matter to you, while you may say, “Who cares? The whole idea of sharing this with the world is utterly pointless,” while you may just close this window and go about your day, just remember that for me to change anything about myself is pretty extreme. See, I love regimented systems wherein I always have a particular way of doing things such that everything is just so.
Anyhow, I’ve made the executive decision to make the letter I with one stroke of the pencil while writing from here on out. See, I’m avoiding the two horizontal lines at the top and bottom of the central column so that people can differentiate the letter I from the letter T, which they have trouble differentiating from the letter J, which they have trouble differentiating from the letter S. I’m taking the first step toward legible recovery. My teachers should be proud.
And grateful. Very grateful.
He’ll probably just ride away
[ 1 Comment ] Posted on 10.25.05 in random
About four months ago, I was obsessed with the idea of being a cowboy. Not one of the modern ones with WIFI and GPS and all of those other technological acronyms, but one of the classic cowboys: one who eats beans from the can and sleeps next to his doggies on the prairie and rides into town on a black steed named Silver to give the town villain his comeuppance.
I’m fully aware that these types of cowboys didn’t really exist. So, I dropped my infatuation with the impossible and continued with my mundane city life. But lately, Willie Nelson has convinced me to spit in the face of reality and imagine my days away. And now I want to invest in a nice pair of cowboy boots and a high quality cowboy hat.
I don’t care if I can’t pull off the hat. I want to be a cowboy, darn it.
So, do you wipe twice?
[ 3 Comments ] Posted on 09.20.05 in random
Because after 12 years of public schooling I’ve run the gamut of things to talk about, I was discussing with my carpool the merits of bidets this morning as we drove to school.
Now, because I’ve grown up in Clearwater as a member of this family and I’ve lived a relatively simple life thus far, I’ve never used one. I’ve never even seen one. I’ve heard about them and seen them on the Internet, but I’ve never actually seen one. So, they might not actually exist.
But my friend Angus says that they are real and that he’s used one. I have trouble believing that anyone from Beckley, West Virginia named Angus has actually used one; but I have no reason not to believe that he experimented with the one in his New York hotel room, so I’m reasonably convinced.
So, now that I know these things actually exist, I’m kind of curious as to how you would go about using one. I asked Angus, but his recollection of the bidet adventure was just fuzzy enough to facilitate his delivery of an overly ambiguous explanation that made about as much sense as a sneaker in a toaster. So, I asked everyone I saw before school today.
Apparently, such topics of conversation are not popular among my friends, especially those of the female persuasion.
So, I was left in the dark all day. And I’m still out of the know. All because my friends are uptight squares who don’t like to talk about their pooping habits. Lame.