So, do you wipe twice?

Posted on 09.20.05 2:08PM in random

Because after 12 years of public schooling I’ve run the gamut of things to talk about, I was discussing with my carpool the merits of bidets this morning as we drove to school.

Now, because I’ve grown up in Clearwater as a member of this family and I’ve lived a relatively simple life thus far, I’ve never used one. I’ve never even seen one. I’ve heard about them and seen them on the Internet, but I’ve never actually seen one. So, they might not actually exist.

But my friend Angus says that they are real and that he’s used one. I have trouble believing that anyone from Beckley, West Virginia named Angus has actually used one; but I have no reason not to believe that he experimented with the one in his New York hotel room, so I’m reasonably convinced.

So, now that I know these things actually exist, I’m kind of curious as to how you would go about using one. I asked Angus, but his recollection of the bidet adventure was just fuzzy enough to facilitate his delivery of an overly ambiguous explanation that made about as much sense as a sneaker in a toaster. So, I asked everyone I saw before school today.

Apparently, such topics of conversation are not popular among my friends, especially those of the female persuasion.

So, I was left in the dark all day. And I’m still out of the know. All because my friends are uptight squares who don’t like to talk about their pooping habits. Lame.

Read Comments

  1. Posted by Vince on 10.15.05 at 19:37:28

    This qualifies your life as the saddest and most disgusting existence ever known to man.

  2. Posted by Stacey G on 10.15.05 at 19:37:51

    pfhah. google searches yield amazing things.

    http://www.routinecdr.com/images/bidet.jpg

  3. Posted by Nathan T on 10.15.05 at 19:38:10

    my friends at http://www.urbandictionary.com got us taken care of, old buddy

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bidet

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