Thanks a lot, Mother Nature
[ 4 Comments ] Posted on 07.11.06 in cars, random
I love my car. It may not be the fastest set of wheels on the road (I sold that car a few months ago, sadly), but it’s a lovable little car. She’s black, sleek, and roomy. What’s probably most important is the fact that she’s mine. It is for this reason that I trust nobody with her. I keep her clean as a whistle, too. There are no little bits of paper in the storage compartments, no crumbs in the cracks of the seats, and when there’s too much dirt on the floor of the car, I know that it’s time for a cleaning. But I don’t just vacuum, I give my car the most deluxe automotive spa treatment available. I let nobody else do this for fear of their screwing up my tried and tested cleaning schedule.
First, I give the car a hose down. Then comes the standard wash (I’ve used a variety of products for this, but I’ve found that most of them are pretty much the same. So, I use Zip Wax car wash formula by Turtle Wax.). I hit the roof of the car, go down to the rear window and work on the windshield. Lather and rinse. Then, I get the sides, one by one, and finally scrub the hood and trunk area. Lather and rinse. Then I dry, windows first and body second. I then use Meguiar’s Back to Black formula on my plastic car parts, door handles and the rear view mirror cases. Next, I use Turtle Wax’s specialized automotive window cleaner on all glass of my car, inside and outside. Then, I go for Turtle Wax’s wheel shine formula on each of my wheels, followed by tire gloss of the same brand. Finally, I go to the interior and use Armor All on every inch of the cabin. This rubdown is followed by a thorough vacuuming of all parts of the interior (trunk space included!).
I know that last paragraph was long and monotonous to read. I just want to convey to you the insane amount of work I put into my car today in hopes that the next sentence will have a profound effect on you and that you understand my extreme anger and agony:
It is now raining.
There Aren’t Enough Hours in a Day
[ 5 Comments ] Posted on 06.13.06 in random
So, I’ve completely messed up my sleep schedule.
Generally speaking, now that it’s summer, I stay up for 13 hours daily and sleep for the remaining 11. But I have a nasty habit of going to bed later each night than I did before, so my daily routine of going to bed at 4:00 A.M. and waking up at 3:00 is slowly turning into a progressive cycle in which I will soon go to bed at 5:00 and wake up at 4:00. Five o’clock will soon turn into 6:00 A.M., at which time I don’t think I will be able to justify going to sleep at the beginning of a new day.
I wish people had daylight savings time every other day. Then, I wouldn’t have to worry about anything.
You’re a towel!
[ 1 Comment ] Posted on 04.25.06 in observations, random
A couple of years ago, I became fortunate enough to stumble across a particular towel in my linen closet. It was blue, big enough to make a skirt of absorption in which I could roam the house under the guise of actually being clothed, and best of all, it was absorbent.
I’ve found that in life, about 98% of towels made are not absorbent; they merely sop up the water from your skin and become a slosh of fibers and hard water from the shower. But this one, it’s different. I can dry every inch of every crevice of my wet and naked body without having to switch to another towel.
Now, I’m afraid that my beloved blue angel is no more. Mom convinced me to send Towlie to the great washing machine in the sky. It was time, though – he was tattered and torn so much that you would think Ive been using him to dry my pet porcupine.
In the meantime, I’ve switched to another towel. And while this one is much larger (I can envelop myself like a human burrito), it lacks the principle quality of absorption that I’ve taken for granted during the last two years of my high school career. This upsets me, so I think I will protest the absence of an acceptable drying device in my home by not showering for a while. Then, maybe someone with whom I reside will notice the wretched stench and toss a suitable towel my way.
And no, I do not have a pet porcupine.