Clubbing Angus to death
[ 1 Comment ] Posted on 07.08.08 in college, friends
In the past two years of my collegiate life, I have adopted a pretty routine lifestyle consisting of various alternations of food, school, and sleep. Knowing that there must be more to life, I obtained employment during my last semester.
However, after seeing how joining a business fraternity (read: the kind of fraternity I don’t hate because it’s not completely filled with douchebaggery) allowed my good buddy James to drastically expand his social life, my other good buddy Angus and I have decided to find such an extracurricular club to join and, in turn, allow us to make love to hot women.
Trouble is, I can’t find any club that a couple of guys with completely different majors (Political science and industrial engineering – guess which one I am!) who don’t care about any issues or things beyond the realm of bacon and football would be particularly interested in joining.
There’s a list on the UF Web site, but I can’t find anything.
Maybe The Hip Hop Collective?
I will probably drop dead within a month
[ No Comments ] Posted on 02.03.08 in food, friends, funny stories
Well, somehow my lifestyle as an unhealthy and bored college student has caught up with me and my friends.
Lately, we have been aching for things to do on the weekends. And seeing that we are not particularly interesting or anything, we have had to create fun things to do in the absence of actual social lives. Over break, we were confined to the realm of our hometown, the parent-filled purgatory of any college student. Ergo, we made socially acceptable things to do, most of which involved wandering aimlessly in our local Wal-Marts and ending the evening at Steak n’ Shake.
Now, this is all well and good, but it can get old after about one night spent in the toy aisles, pressing the button that cues the novelty horn on every miniature Dukes of Hazzard General Lee.
So, we’ve come up with a new game: generally, I attempt an absolutely amazing feat and if I can successfully accomplish this, my best buddy Angus has to do something silly.
Last week, I was dared to eat 10 tacos and an order of Nachos Bel Grande from Taco Bell. In return, Angus allowed us to bind his wrists and ankles for the rest of the night. While this sounds lame, I can assure you that it was quite humorous – at least until he had to go to the bathroom and I was the one in charge of removing his pants. If this sounds gay, it’s probably because it is.
Tonight, I was challenged to eat a Frisco Melt platter from Steak n’ Shake in addition to three double cheeseburgers and a large order of fries from McDonald’s.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “You, Casey, are the least healthy person on the face of the planet.”
Yes, I agree. And I regret this. But friends, the payout on this wager was marvelous: Angus Wade Hill was forced to shave his arms and legs.
Petty? Yes.
Silly? Yes.
Hilarious? Unequivocally, yes.
I know that all of this sounds extremely juvenile. However, I think we can all agree that as time progresses and the hilarity of Angus’ payback grows so too will the necessity of this entire process for the sake of physical humor both in Alachua County and our lives.
That said, any thoughts on what next weekend’s challenge should entail? We are running out of ideas.
All umpires are God awful.
[ No Comments ] Posted on 11.13.07 in college, friends, sports
Well, much like last year, the Red Devil Gators’ season has come to an end in what you would call a “less than ideal” way. We lost our playoff game tonight, but it wasn’t all for naught.
Ladies and Gentlemen, we made it into the second round of the playoffs – having played only two games. See, two of our four regularly-scheduled games were rained out. We won one of the games we played and lost one in a very close fashion. Then, the team that we were to play in the first round of the playoffs decided not to show up for our round one game. So there we were earlier this evening, with our pride and ambition almost bubbling over. Then our season ended the same way it did last year: we lost a playoff game to a team comprised of what I can only guess are thirty year old alumni in a hotly contested match up officiated by some of the worst umpires on earth.
And I don’t mean for this to sound like sore loserdom or anything, but I swear to God: the first base umpire was watching the game on the field next to ours the entire night. I am disappointed to know that my university’s recreation department does not have higher standards for such a paid position. Of course, sucking at everything in life is sort of a prerequisite when becoming an umpire on any level.
Ah well, c’est la vie. We wouldn’t have won even if Mr. I-Could-Give-Two-Flying-Flips-About-Your-Game were paying attention.
Either way, we will be back, because Red Devil Gators Softball never sleeps.