Bow Chicka Wah Wah!

[ No Comments ] Posted on 08.31.07 in complaints, girls, letters

Dear Axe Bodyspray,

Hello. My name is Casey Peterson and I have been using your product ever since 2002, when Axe was introduced to the U.S. During the entirety of this time, advertisements and descriptions on each container I purchased referring to the “Axe Effect” have led me to believe that at some juncture during this time, I would have sexual intercourse with a woman as a result of using your product. Unfortunately, this has not happened thus far. Therefore, I demand that you send a woman to my home in Gainesville immediately for the act of lovemaking. If you fail to comply, I’m afraid I will have to summon legal counsel and we will be forced to settle this matter in court.

Yours,
Casey A. Peterson

The New Jan Brady!

[ 1 Comment ] Posted on 04.22.07 in college, girls, random, scb

For lack of one solid, lengthy, and coherent idea, here’s a bunch of little things:

  • For some reason, the Web site was acting up for about a month. I kept putting it off and putting it off, but I decided to fix it. Hooray for WordPress themes and the spare time to play around with the code therein.
  • I gave a homeless man playing the accordion a dollar today outside of the grocery store. I usually don’t do that kind of thing, but Dude has no eyes. So, me being the double-eyeball-having kind of guy I am, I felt guilty. On second thought, though, I could have just taken all the money from his jar. Dude has no eyes.
  • Final exams are few and far between. This is nice, but it is also kind of inconvenient, since I’m sitting here like a lump for days at a time while I wait for the next test to start.
  • I tried to learn the mandolin. Apart from a few songs and chords, that endeavor is playing second fiddle to my new passion: weightlifting. I originally thought that playing the mandolin would attract girls. Now, they tell me it’s lifting weights. I’m just waiting for that to go out of style and make way for a new pastime. Sort of like the blessed transition from baseball cards to Pogs. (By the way, I know I am very weak. I can curl 40 whole pounds!)
  • I gave up drinking soda, and am proud to say that as of today, it’s been four glorious, decaffeinated weeks. I am dying to have an orange soda.

    • So, there you have it. If you find any navigational problems with the new layout, shoot me an email.

    Four Strings of Pure Sex

    [ 3 Comments ] Posted on 03.05.07 in girls, music

    It took me 19 years to come to terms with the fact that I have small hands; hands so small, in fact, that I can’t really aspire to become a world class guitarist to make girls like me. So, I’m making the best of the unpleasantness of my outrageously tiny hands and learning to play the mandolin. It’s like a guitar, only smaller and with four strings.

    So, I guess that would be attractive to some girls, right? Maybe little midget women or something.

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