We should have listened to Bob Barker

June 20th, 2007 / #animals, #complaints

The cat is in heat. I only recently learned what this means, and I must say, it fascinates me to know that all this whining sack of feline estrogen wants is someone (or something, as it were) to come and take it for a ride.

Two observations, though.

One, why don’t human females go through this stage? I must say, it would make things far easier on me if all women just walked around, ladyparts exposed and all up in my grill, vocalizing how much they wish I’d do what I’ve wanted to do to them for years. It would take out all of the formalities of dating, and would likely be cheaper.

As for the second thought, come on, Cat. Give me a frigging break. I’ve wanted to have sex since before I came out of my mother. You’ve been with us on this green earth for five months. Try nineteen years, you ungrateful varmint. You don’t see me parading around like the world owes me intimacy, with my hind parts raised toward the sky while I moan and groan for hours on end while other people are trying to sleep, do you? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

So seriously, Cat, get a grip, take a chill pill, and do whatever it is all of those other idioms that mean “relax” tell you to do.


There is only one comment. Add to the marketplace of ideas!

  1. nathanboi spoke up on June 24, 2007.

    i think women of the human persuasion have the same urges, they just have more self control. or more useful hands.

    yes i said it, come one kyle…back me up on this one.

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