Unfortunately, he isn’t REALLY burning…
[ 4 Comments ] Posted on 04.05.06 in sports
You know, having a blog like this means that I have a medium through which I can reach an audience (however miniscule). And that means that I can do what every human with a penis has done at some point in his life: I can tell you all about my meaningless opinions about sports!
The Devil Rays will go .500 this year. They’ll still finish third or fourth, but they’ll win over half of their games.
The Lightning will make it into the playoffs as a wild card but lose in the first round.
Much to my chagrin, the Buccaneers will go 7-9 because they lack an offensive line and special teams.
Kasey Kahne will finish first this year in NASCAR. Not because I know anything about NASCAR, but because his name is Kasey and he drives a Dodge. I get sentimental.
The Florida Gators will remain NCAA Men’s Basketball champions, at least until next year’s season starts.
Maybe someone in the country will realize that the NBA is ridiculous and that no one should watch it.
But seriously. See how you don’t care in the slightest about what I just said? See how my opinion, the thoughts of one inconsequential speck on the face of a seemingly infinite universe, will never have any effect on how the sports world plays out?
That’s always been my take. Which leads me to ask: how in the world do bozos like Jim Rome (yeah, I said it) and Stephen A. Smith (who, by the way, has not totally convinced me that he knows the English language) get their own shows on ESPN?
Isn’t three hours of Rome’s incessant blathering about how anyone who disagrees with him is an idiot enough? During any given radio broadcast, Jim Rome has what most scientist estimate to be 45 seconds of actual new information and opinions. He then repeats this. Over. And over again. And if you raise issue with one of his points, you’re an idiot. He then lets us listen to him make these exact same points WHILE you watch him on TV! How lucky are we?!
Anyway, the point remains: people’s opinions about sports don’t matter. And if you don’t agree with me, you’re an idiot.
Proud to be (a little) Irish
[ 1 Comment ] Posted on 03.22.06 in holidays, music
Last week, to prepare myself for the St. Patrick’s Day holiday, I burned a CD with about thirty Irish pub songs for use in my car.
I started listening on Monday. I was still listening today, four days after the holiday. I am about to go insane, but I can’t stop.
What gets me is the fact that these Irish folks, who are presumably always drunk, can remember the eight billion words that are to be in any song and that they can spit those words back out as fast as many of these melodies require.
This is what has convinced me of the supreme greatness of Irish people: they’re always drunk, fighting, and can really drop a phat beat.
The plural is actually Foci
[ 1 Comment ] Posted on 03.09.06 in cars
Well, it was bound to happen. The folks said I needed a more dependable car for college. So, Ringo is no more. He’s gone to the great trade-in lot in the sky. The people at the ford dealership gave me a paltry $500 for him, including the $400 stereo unit I had put in about six months ago.
But now it’s time to usher in a new generation of Peterson pimpage: Now, instead of seeing me cruising at the speed of light in a pretty red car that breaks down every few weeks, you can see me accelerating more responsibly in a car with four doors. Oh well, that just means I’ll have a backseat wherein I can seduce women. Lots of them. After all, who wouldn’t fall for me when they see me rolling along in a 2005 Ford Focus ZX4 SE?