Again?!
[ No Comments ] Posted on 10.24.07 in complaints, speeding tickets
Well, it happened again. It was bound to, really.
It was 3:00 A.M. and I was completely burned out. I had just gone to Halloween Horror Nights with the gang over in Orlando, and I just wanted to be home. As I came across the Courtney Campbell Causeway, I noticed a white car tailing me. And, like clockwork, when the end of the bridge came and went, his lights burned like bright red and blue firecrackers.
This time, though, the fireworks show only cost me $185.50. See? I’m saving money!
Man, I hate the Highway Patrol. They’re like cops, but even more worthless since they only patrol the roadways.
I’m really glad they focus so intently on ruining the days of people going 76 in a 60 on a deserted highway in the black shroud of night as opposed to, you know, tracking down mother rapers, father stabbers… and father rapers.
Yes, at least Arlo Guthrie can make light of any situation.
Why I hate the USF Bulls
[ 1 Comment ] Posted on 10.17.07 in UF, complaints, football
I’m sick of all of my friends who couldn’t get into UF feeding me their incessant crap week after week. They are not the best team in Florida, and I truly believe they would lose to UF if they got the chance to play them.
Also, an outrageous number of folks from the area are adamant about the fact that Matt Grothe is better (>) than Tim Tebow. Granted, he’s an excellent player with great skills, but at this point I maintain that Grothe has not yet reached Tebow’s skill. In time, I’m sure this could change, but not at present. His mohawk also looks absolutely ridiculous.
I also think that they are over-ranked. Granted, they should be ranked high (within the top 10 or 15), but not number two. They are not the second best team in the country and I firmly believe that they would lose to a number of opponents: LSU, Oklahoma, and Ohio come to mind.
The extreme bandwagondom of all the Tampa Bay area is getting to me, too. Around the Tampa Bay area, you see more and more people who have never followed college football joining the Bulls’ crusade. And don’t get me wrong: this is GREAT for the Bulls and I hope it happens to the Rays when we start winning. I will be overjoyed, but still judge those who have not gotten onto the fanboat prior to its departure from Losersville.
Take my dad, for example. He’s a middle class, hard-working guy who has had devotion to UF since he sent his first child there. But now, all of a sudden, he’s jumped over to the USF bandwagon and persists that they are the best thing since sliced bread.
The outrageous media attention given to USF’s football team is ridiculous, too. Of course, this comes as no surprise – it’s always a great story to portray the “cinderalla story” year after year. We saw it with Rutgers/Boise State/Louisville last year and we will see it again for the rest of our lives, year after year. But what gets me is the fact that following broadcast after broadcast, week after week, the media still portrays them as the strapping young group of men from Tampa who are overcoming adversity and rising against the odds. Can’t we just accept that they are a good team this year who is undefeated and give up on the pity party that began from a trailer in a field – GASP – even years ago?
It’s mainly just jealousy, I’ll admit that. But my points are valid in this case. I have every right to cheer against the Bulls, just like ‘Noles are hellbent against the Gators and the Gators loathe Tennessee. Of course, it goes without saying that I respect their football team much more than Florida State and the Vols, given that they are a much more solid team this year.
Yes, you heard right: I respect the USF Bulls. Their team is quite good. George Selvie is one of the best in the game today, and the defense behind him is rock solid. USF’s offense is also solid, but without the receivers and running backs (Tebow included, heh) that a team like the Gators have, I can’t jump up in absolute agreement with their #2 ranking. Turnovers have been commonplace in USF’s games, and until last week against UCF the Bulls have not been able to consistently convert those opportune turnovers into points. Further, USF has turned the ball over many a time – a team so high in the rankings should not do this with such frequency.
And, uh, after watching the Auburn game earlier in the year, I would work on the kicking situation.
Well worth the 41 cents
[ No Comments ] Posted on 10.09.07 in Rays, baseball, letters
A couple of weeks ago, I sent Bud Selig a letter. It was done in magic marker and I used a fake name to make me sound more like a seven year old and basically asked if it were possible for me, despite my age to become a Major League Umpire. I promised him that I would never make a correct call at first base when officiating Devil Rays games and that I would completely rape the idea of strike zone consistency. I also drew him two pictures, one of a Rays baserunner’s foot on the bag and the first baseman nowhere near the base with me (dressed as an umpire) calling him out and another picture of an eyeball, heart, and Bud’s face (I <3 Bud Selig).
I was surprised when he wrote me back on official MLB letterhead and everything:
Dear Alex:
Thank you for your letter.
While I know you were a little sarcastic in your comments about umpires, I happen to think the umpires do an excellent job. Incidentally, we have an electronic system called Questec which rates umpires on every pitch in every game and they do remarkably well. Base decisions, for the most part, have been excellent. Umpires missing a call once in awhile have been part of our game for years, but I think the umpires overall have done a good job. I think you have to be a little more understanding about that. However, I liked the rest of your letter and all the pictures you drew. I was really impressed.
Thanks for taking the time to write to me.
Sincerely,
Allan H. Selig,
Commissioner of Baseball
Best part: he signed in INK.
I think I’ll keep corresponding with my favorite wrinkly old pen pal in hopes of more gems like this.