A Christmas Miracle!
[ 1 Comment ] Posted on 12.27.07 in Christmas, video games
You know how in A Christmas Story, when The Old Man pointed to the solitary gift in the corner behind the desk, Ralphie’s eyes lit up like two beacons of childhood splendor?
And you know how the movie ended, with Ralphie clinging on to Old Blue while he drifted into the best sleep he ever had?
Do you remember that?
I had eerily similar emotions this past Christmas, when I welcomed into the family a shiny new 80 gigabyte Playstation 3.
God bless us, everyone!
Santa Maria!
[ No Comments ] Posted on 12.20.07 in Buccaneers, complaints, speeding tickets
Well, it happened.
The Bucs returned a kickoff for a touchdown.
And I was there to see it.
All in all, it was a memorable day: I saw Michael Spurlock jet his way into Buccaneers history; I saw my Bucs win the division… again; and, of course, Ian was the victim of collateral damage from an accident on the way home and the police took two hours to get to the wreck.
Funny how they’re always around when they want to give me a ticket, but when I need them they take their own sweet time. Ridiculous.
A simple formula for scary success
[ 1 Comment ] Posted on 12.10.07 in movies, observations
You know, the plot for any given movie in the horror genre can be essentially boiled down to an intensely silly game of mad libs. The Child’s play movies are prime examples of this.
A (spooky human figure) transforms into a (inanimate object not generally associated with blood and gore) and attacks (defenseless thing) to regain his life. The (defenseless thing) cleverly attacks the (inanimate object not generally associated with blood and gore) with (silly object) and the (inanimate object not generally associated with blood and gore) appears to be defeated. However, the (part of inanimate object not generally associated with blood and gore) moves in the closing shot of the film, leaving the story wide open for a sequel.
With this simple formula, let’s write our own movie idea, shall we?
A man who has had plastic surgery to look exactly like Liza Minelli transforms into a talking wooden spoon and attacks the adorable residents of Meerkat Manor to regain his life. The adorable residents of Meerkat Manor cleverly attack the talking wooden spoon with a colony of mutated termites and the talking wooden spoon appears to be defeated. However, the handle of the talking wooden spoon moves in the closing shot of the film, leaving the story wide open for a sequel.
Now that, my friends, is spooky stuff.