You got pwned
Posted on 10.16.04 5:08PM in observations
When I was at the store today with my mother (because she was the only one who would play with me because Homecoming took it out of all my friends), I was thinking.
When I’m a man of independent resources and a steady income, I’m going to exclusively buy store-brand items. Meat, cheese, milk, soda, aspirin; it’s all the same in every respect except pictures on the box and price.
However, there is one product that I will not skimp on. If you dare bring me the store brand ultra thin and sandpaper-esque toilet paper, I will disown you.
And if I don’t own you, I’ll push an amendment through Congress with my charm and good looks to reinstate slavery, purchase you as my slave as to make me your proprietor, then push through Congress with the aforementioned charm and good looks an amendment that again abolishes slavery just to say that, because of your ill-fated decision to pursue savings over quality, I disowned you. And don’t think I’m bluffing; I hold a great influence over Congress. I can’t tell you why though – you know, classified CIA inspector stuff.
In any case, it’s only Charmin Ultra Double Roll for me. Nothing else can satisfy, even if it’s on sale.
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Posted by Angus on 10.15.05 at 16:06:36
And no mention of us bumping into each other at the store? I’m hurt Casey…although those incidents are always very very awkward.