I’m President of the Fan Club

Posted on 05.14.06 12:57AM in Rays, baseball

If you’ve been around me for the past couple of months, you already know this. But if you’ve been living under a rock and you aren’t aware of the simple fact that Travis Lee is the best baseball player to ever play the game, this is your heads up.

Lee’s fielding percentage is .997, which is the highest active percentage in the league among first basemen. He is as tall as the Empire State Building; he is as mighty as a lion; he is as nimble as a kitten; he is as powerful as a locomotive.

Notice that locomotives do not have opposable thumbs. Hence, they cannot hold baseball bats. And because they cannot hold baseball bats, their batting averages are not very high.

But did Jesus ever rub pine tar on a Louisville Slugger? Did Mohammed have a good batting average? Could Moses crank a ball over the centerfield wall? Collective answer? No. Collective moral? You can go ahead and disregard Travis Lee’s batting average. Pay attention to the obvious: he is easily the greatest first baseman in the league and he is possibly the greatest human being to walk the earth in 2000 years.

Read Comments

  1. Posted by Hot Chrissy on 05.14.06 at 09:30:30

    Things Casey A. Peterson Enjoys [in order of importance]:
    1. Travis Lee
    2. Football
    3. Food
    4. Christen Marie
    5. Television

    thanks buddy :D
    well on the bright side, i am not last

  2. Posted by James on 05.15.06 at 14:48:55

    How can “the best baseball player to ever play the game” have a career batting average of .259? Did you know he has a .750 fielding percentage in center field? Thats awful. He also has 8 runs batted in this season… Finally, Travis Lee strikes out 27.6% of his at bats. So, he is basically one of the least productive players on the team. I hope the Rays bring up a young prospect soon. Maybe Wigginton can fill in at first base in the mean time.

  3. Posted by Kyle on 05.15.06 at 18:58:26

    Things Casey A. Peterson Enjoys [in order of importance]:
    1. Travis Lee
    2. Football
    3. Food
    4. Christen Marie
    5. Television

    uhhhhh id like to make an amendment to this list
    Things Casey A. Peterson Enjoys [in order of importance]:
    1. Travis Lee
    2. Football
    3. Food
    4. Christen Marie
    5. Television
    6. Kyle Bernet*

    *notice you probably expected me to put my self first, but instead i put my self last, to be honest i have no idea who number 1 is, football is football, food is fucking amazing, im no competition to a girl (even though i have a nicer cheset then most girls), and well we all love tv, but i will admit i am happy to at least make the list….

  4. Posted by Casey on 05.15.06 at 19:35:06

    Why does James have to rain on my parade every time?

  5. Posted by Hot Chrissy on 05.15.06 at 19:37:57

    i have a wonderful “cheset” i’ll have you know kyle…

  6. Posted by Kyle on 05.15.06 at 20:32:18

    first off, i’d like to thank casey for taking care of my typo, and second off, i’d like to point out i have a 44 inch chest that casey loves to grope………..too much? maybe

  7. Posted by James on 05.15.06 at 22:10:54

    I’m just going to continue to rain on the Travis Lee Parade and ignore the other posts. So in 2004 Lee had a .105 batting average (ouch). Travis Lee has also never appeared in a post season game, nor an all-star game. But, anyhow I’ll stop. Cause even I can appreciate his excellent fielding play. Despite all of his downfalls, I will concur. Travis Lee is fun to watch. What is much more entertaining is being in a stadium full of baseball fans and hearing Casey yell “Travis Lee have my babies.” So for that, I say keep up with the whole greatest player ever thing, because that is entertaining.

  8. Posted by Casey on 05.15.06 at 22:48:48

    Did I mention that he made the Olympic team in 1996?

  9. Posted by Hot Chrissy on 05.16.06 at 14:02:06

    well kyle’s fat…

  10. Posted by Kyle on 05.16.06 at 18:44:33

    i’m throwing down the gauntlet, mano a mano, this means war, i challenge you to a duel, you killed my father now…..ok nevermind it lets just say it’s on

  11. Posted by Hot Chrissy on 05.17.06 at 08:10:53

    bring it
    :D

  12. Posted by Mills on 05.18.06 at 22:29:55

    I would like to amend James’ post mentioning a “stadium full of baseball fans.” When has this ever been an appropriate description for a Devil Rays game?

  13. Posted by James on 05.19.06 at 13:50:09

    I would like to amend Ryan’s post trying to amend my post. Remember opening day my friend? The Tampa Bay Devil Rays actually drew a capacity crowd… It was a one time only thing.

  14. Posted by Angus on 05.20.06 at 16:58:04

    I would like to say that Travis Lee won the game Thursday night…even when he was not starting…

  15. Posted by Mills on 05.21.06 at 00:34:18

    Travis Lee defeated Chuck Norris in a battle of the mullet.

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