Something’s Fishy, Redux

Posted on 11.11.04 5:21PM in IB

After experimenting with 13 small fish for the IBO’s silly little Group IV Project, 9 died. So, sue us. If they didn’t want to die, they would have stopped peeing a long time ago.

Being the humanitarian I am, I put the remaining four into clean water to live out the rest of their days happily, not asphyxiating on their own urine. The other night, I put four in a new bowl and went to bed. The next morning, I got up and fed three fish.

Wait, what?

It appears one escaped! I looked all around – on the floor, behind the bowl, under the table on which their tank sat – to no avail. I surmised that one must have been so depressed to be a part of our cruel, cruel experiment he jumped from the bowl to its own death and decided that I would find it later.

That evening, I fed the three fish and went to bed. The next morning, I got up and fed two fish.

Wait, what?

Another one was gone by the wayside. Disgruntled, I continued with my daily life and looked again tonight for the remains of the fish. I only found one, which leaves the other that escaped available to murder me with a butcher knife while I sleep. I couldn’t take that risk any further, so I did what any self-respecting fish owner would do with the remaining fish and flushed them.

Bring it on, PETA. Bring it on.

Read Comments

  1. Posted by Angus on 10.15.05 at 16:15:02

    I don’t know if this would apply but in my fish tank I have minnows straight from the pond behind my house, and if you watch them long enough you will see some of the larger ones eat the smaller ones at times.

  2. Posted by Egle on 10.15.05 at 16:15:29

    Well…that’s pleasant

    Kinda…sorta…no…actually…not really

  3. Posted by Angus on 10.15.05 at 16:15:46

    Kinda…sorta…actually..not really? Academic Register Egle, Academic Register!

  4. Posted by Drew on 10.15.05 at 16:16:02

    As I recall, you shared an abode with felines and hence I am left to wonder just how they managed to pull off this fishily fruitful caper.

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