Why my job is cooler than yours
[ 6 Comments ] Posted on 04.23.05 in awesomeness, work
I don’t feel that my previous and rather nebulous description of my new job is sufficient enough to completely describe the awesomeness thereof.
Last Saturday as I was showering, my good brother Ian knocked on my door and said, “Dude! I’ve got the perfect job for you!” So, after getting dressed, I went to his room to see what the entire hubbub was about. It turned out that he had seen an advertisement on the Dunedin Blue Jays’ Web site about a need for a mascot. And here’s the kicker, folks: no experience was necessary.
So, after pacing around and dialing six digits like a little schoolgirl who just wants to breathe heavily into the receiver and hear that cute boy from English class answer the phone, I called a contact with the team and left a message regarding my interest in the position. I hadn’t heard back from them for a few days, so I assumed they had found someone more favorable for the position.
Therefore, when I got a callback on Wednesday of last week, I was adequately surprised. The good folks from the Blue Jays wanted to meet with me that evening before their game against the Lakeland Tigers, an offer which I immediately accepted. I met my contact with the team and we had a nice interview in the box office of Knology Park.
I returned on Thursday’s game against the Tampa Yankees to learn the ropes from Dave, a freelance mascot who knows what he’s doing. It was a good thing, too. I wouldn’t have had any idea how to do the mascot thing.
Then, on Friday night, it was my turn. I donned the outrageously warm blue fur and proceeded to mess with each and every person in the stands at least once. I raced a kid from first to third base after the second inning. He smoked me. After the last out of the third, I participated in a game in which I threw rubber chickens into the air and two kids with giant clown pants tried to catch them in their festively colored garments. By the time the fourth inning rolled around, I was atop the dugout and entertaining the cozy Dunedin crowd like there was no tomorrow. And when the game encountered the seventh inning stretch, I led the masses in a stirring rendition of “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.”
And by the end of the eighth, I was out of costume and restoring my original body temperature in the stands while watching one of the better extra inning ballgames of my short existence. And the best part of it all was that in normal clothes, no one in the stands was wise to my alter ego as D Jay, the happy-go-lucky Blue Jay.
I had a lot of fun last night. The only downfall of the job is its heat factor, but other than that, it’s a veritable perk machine. Free drinks; free baseball; the opportunity to say, “Hey ladies, I’m a mascot” and a schedule that mandates only 2.5 – 3 hours of work whenever I’m scheduled to appear. And the kids love me, so that’s nice too.
But the best part, my friends, is the fact that I am the first kid I know to actually be on the front of a real, live baseball card. One day, I’ll get some and sell them autographed for $19.99 on ebay.
Here’s looking at you, Lord Durham
[ 3 Comments ] Posted on 04.20.05 in work
Today, I’m attempting an unprecedented career move in which I will never, ever have to make the use of inferential calculus or epistemology. My vast knowledge of Canadian history might come into play, though.
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you will be aware soon enough if it’s meant to be that way.
Thor is dead
[ 4 Comments ] Posted on 04.15.05 in complaints, music
About “eight months ago”:http://sociallyconsciousbird.com/wordpress/?p=81, I outlined the reasons for my faltering loyalty to 107.3 FM and took up my cross to go hang out with the folks at Thunder 103.5. I can honestly attest to its superiority in every facet: talent, programming, promotions, and commercial placement.
However, it seems that now I’ve upset the Gods that have been sending their rays of love down in the form of megahertz waves for the larger part of a year. Without warning and without any consideration of the devastation to which a large portion of us classic hit aficionados would succumb, the bigwigs down at Clear Channel Communications took away the compromise between The Bone’s hard rock and The Eagle’s mindless droning of softer stuff by Elton John and Jim Croche. My friends, the worst thing happened Thursday morning that I can possibly even consider: I woke up to a country station.
And so, that leaves to those of us who appreciate the music that shaped society as we know it roughly three stations. We’ve got The Bone (102.5 FM), which, in my humble opinion, has some sort of bass and screaming fetish. We still have The Eagle (107.3 FM), which has been far less impressive since the name change from The Bay on 1 January 2004. Nowadays, its play list is tiny and repetitive, sort of like Ross Perot. I reckon that leaves us with The Point (101.5 FM), whose inclusion in this list is debatable because I’m not sure the eighties can be considered a markedly impressive era for rock and roll.
That’s it, folks. This kind of thing happens with no warning, either. I think had Ledge called my house and let me down easy like a fat Prom date, it would have been okay.
“Hey, uh, Casey? Yeah, hi. This is Ledge, you know – that DJ from Thunder? Yeah, well, I just wanted you to have a heads up on this. Starting next Thursday, we’re going to be a country station. Just wanted to let you know. Bye.”
That’s all I would have needed. Then, I could have weaned myself off of the addicting drug known as Thunder 103.5 by going back to The Eagle or The Bone for a certain allocation of time daily. But as it stands now, I am very, very shell-shocked. And mad.