In eighth grade when I was in your science class, I didn’t like you. No one did, man. I’m sure you’re not completely oblivious to this fact; I know you wondered where all of your candy and random classroom equipment went (for the record, it wasn’t me who stole your stuff).

But, Mr. Cappo, my beloved science teacher, I committed quite a few transgressions against you almost 10 years ago. And for this, I apologize. In retrospect, you were actually an okay teacher – though trying to teach middle school students about the rings in an orbital of an atom might be ill-advised for most people, you remained undaunted and plunged on into the world of random biology, chemistry, and, at the end of the year, photons and things that really went completely over everyone’s head.

So, here you go.

Mr. Cappo, I’m sorry for looking like this during every class (props to the John F. Kennedy Middle School yearbook staff for this gem):

Mr. Cappo, I’m sorry for the stupid and immature songs I wrote about you:
Ode to Rocco
What’s My Weight Again?

Mr. Cappo, I’m sorry for the silly little drawings I made about you in middle school (I still have a notebook with over 50 of these cartoons in it, but I won’t bore you with every single one):

Finally, Mr. Cappo, I’m sorry for the Capponator 3000:
The Capponator 3000

So, there you have it, man. You didn’t deserve any of it. You were a good teacher who just took his job too seriously. I don’t know quite where you are now and I doubt you will ever read this.

But in case you actually see these confessions, I hope they have found you with your sense of humor alive and well.