Mon-OH!
[ 2 Comments ] Posted on 05.22.06 in complaints, girls
Well, my attempts to live a normal teenage life in the last few months have paid off. Ladies and gentlemen, I have mono.
It’s not great – that’s for sure. But, you know, it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. The only bad things about mono are the enlarged (and pus-covered!) tonsils, sore throat, fever, stuffiness and constant sweat. However, the positives are pretty nice, too. The doctor says that I should take it easy for the next few weeks.
I am now sitting on the couch, watching the big screen TV, computing, eating and drinking loads and loads of Gatorade. And after the last two IB exams tomorrow, this is all I’ll have to do for the next month.
Oh, woe is me.
The Lowlight of my Day
[ 2 Comments ] Posted on 04.18.06 in complaints, observations
I was never permitted to go to the big peoples’ doctor. I would always be sitting there, in a room full of little snot-nosed children whining to their mothers, waiting for my overly friendly pediatrician to call me in so that he could tell me how bad my acne was getting.
So today, I walked in because I had to get some paperwork filled out before I could go to college. I was the only person who could grow facial hair in the entire room. None of the secretaries could do it (I hope), none of the mothers who had to take the day off from work to bring their little bundles of joy in for medical care could do it (I hope), and none of the kids in the waiting room could do it, either.
So, while I was waiting for my appointment to get scheduled, I took a seat to check out the reading material. And you know what I hate?
Every doctor’s office in the known universe has a copy of Highlights Magazine. And every copy of Highlights Magazine has that sweet hidden picture puzzle where you have to find a baseball, canoe, and umbrella in a seemingly normal landscape. But the thing that gets me is that in every copy of this magazine in every doctor’s office across America, some stupid kid went and found them all for you. There you are, sitting there ready to play paper detective, and that fat kid with the mumps went and stole your glory.
Go spit, fat kid with the mumps. I’m sick of you.
Boxing Day is only 9 months away
[ 2 Comments ] Posted on 03.03.06 in complaints, holidays
If you don’t know Stefanie, she’s a family friend who stayed at my house two summers ago and sporadically since. Now, she’s living with us quasi permanently, because she has always wanted to live in Florida.
The other day, she got a couple of desktop calendars for my computer table. They’re the kind where you have to rip off a page for each day to present a new fact or trivia question. In this case, they’re Buccaneers and Major League Baseball themes.
But on to my gripe session. I never really understood these types of calendars: they sit there, reflecting 1/365 of the year while leaving you largely unenlightened about the days and weeks surrounding the single day that sits there and stares you in the face. What if it’s Boxing Day in Canada next Tuesday? How can I even begin to prepare my annual Boxing Day party if I don’t know about it until next Tuesday when I finally remember to rip off the sheets of paper that have been left untouched for a week because I forgot to bother with the whole progression of time? This, my friends, is a veritable mystery.
By the way, you’re all invited to my annual Boxing Day gala on December 26. Tell your friends and BYOB.