PDA
[ 4 Comments ] Posted on 05.13.05 in complaints, girls
New on the list of things that upset me: public displays of affection. And no, I won’t cloak the fact that this entire tirade is a manifestation of my own jealousy.
Now, I don’t mean to say that running off into a corner and sucking someone’s face off until they look like Inside Out Boy from the days of Nickelodeon past is necessarily a bad thing. In fact, compared with the alternatives, this form of affection isn’t half bad.
What’s really annoying is when people try to act normal while they are talking to you. Here I am, trying to have a conversation with you sexually charged lovebirds and you’ve suddenly morphed into what the Power Rangers would look like if they banded together into a giant ball of flesh and limbs. You think I don’t notice? When people do that, it’s like trying to talk to the last desperate people on earth who must repopulate its lands before they themselves die. And I must admit, it irks me like no other; just be a normal person for once.
I get it: you have someone and I don’t. Now go find a corner, because you’re just reminding me of what I’m not and doing a pretty fine job of making me sick in the meantime.
The lowest possible point
[ No Comments ] Posted on 03.14.05 in complaints, girls
Since they moved Oak Grove Middle School into a little city of a hundred portables in the field at Clearwater High last year, we’ve had to have crossing guards next to my house come dismissal time. This year, the guard has been driving a white minivan and parking in my front yard.
Recently, though, the vehicle has moved across the street to my drunken neighbor Steve’s house. Interestingly enough, that same van was over at the house on Saturday night. Late Saturday night.
It turns out Steve has a new girlfriend. My brother and I agreed (in all our bitter loneliness) that this mere notion is about the most depressing thing ever.
Hello Sweetheart
[ 1 Comment ] Posted on 12.06.04 in funny stories, girls
Today at lunch as I walked to the office to pick up my exam exemption sheet, I passed a couple of girls who were sitting on a bench outside the teacher’s auditorium. Then, some fellow passed and one of these young ladies gave him a fond, “Hello sweetheart.” I’m assuming they were friends – who says that to strangers?
Anyway, the guy who walked past merely retorted with, “Hi.” I guess when guys aren’t as intimate as girls would like, they go into a tizzy. At least, this one did. The girl who gave the initial greeting yelled angrily at this poor boy as I walked by, “What?! I’m not good enough for a ‘Hello, sweetheart?!’”
In an attempt to calm this young lady’s reservations about her relationship with others (read: to shut her up), as I passed our eyes met and with a smirk about my face, I greeted her with a simple, yet refined, “Hello sweetheart,” and kept walking.
What’s sad is the fact that that’s about the most intimate I’ve ever been with a girl. Perhaps we will meet again, whereupon I can propose to her – I think I have an outside shot with this one.